Sharon's Lavender Courtyard

Socialising - The Real World

2012-01-28T15:34:00.001+08:00

Hated the cartoon - surely someone can do a better job, but loved the conversation!

Socialising - when you meet a stickler

2012-01-28T15:24:00.004+08:00

Some people just don't get it, duh... or was that bad social etiquette?

Just chatting on healing

2012-01-28T00:41:00.004+08:00

I was chatting with my almost 5yr old son today. He loves helping people. I believed he has a compassionate heart. I was given one too. Can't help it. All day long he talks about wanting to be in the "helping" professional. Doctors, paramedics, vet, fire fighter, police men and he qualifies that he wants to help others.

I remembered how I had wanted so badly to become a doctor when my sons were younger and fell ill. I had read every instruction on the medicine labels and instructional sheet (something I will never do, I don't read instructions. Period.) Then I will go on the internet and have each component/ingredient checked out. I could list some cold medicines, tell the difference and tell you why some works and some don't. Deep inside I just wished I was a doctor. But then, I have neither the brains nor the giftings to be one.

When God gifted me the gift of healing, I was overjoyed. I was able to minister to others and loved ones with God! I was so so grateful to be partnering the greatest Healer of all. This is grace, because I don't actually have the knowledge, but God does and he knows.

Recently I prayed for my mother in law who has had back pain for several months. After prayer, she was able to turn around without pain. She told us she is 60% better. I was happy for her. I love praying for the sick.

So when my son tells me that he wants to be a paramedic or a vet, I know God hears his utterance. God would use him the way he has gifted him. I like that my sons know that I go to the Healing Rooms to pray for the sick people.

The lives that we live is purposed though the gifts we give. I just really want to pass this on.

Right now, I am loving a very brand new book sitting on my desk. A more excellent way - Henry Wright. May God touch many more so that they know His ultimate love.

Our God is Greater - Chris Tomlin

2012-01-27T23:06:00.003+08:00

When I sang this song in church, God impressed upon my heart. Deep inside everyone, there is a desire for someone to back them up, to say "well done", to stand for them.

Often times people fall into the trap of comparing and coveting. From insecurity comes fear. So people strive and try harder and harder to please men or to work their way up to others' standard to satisfy their fear.

But God would say in this song "I am greater, stronger, higher than any other, the healer, awesome in power. If I am for you, then who could stop you, if I with you, then what could stand against?"

Points people back to God, back to who he really is, back to trusting him, not others, not ourselves. Perhaps pleasing others is not hard thing to do, it is to quit pleasing ourselves; thinking we could work harder to prove ourselves better.

God loves you. He would open your eyes to see. Then you would be able to trust him and know that he is for you - no matter how small you feel or how big others look like. God alone is greater, stronger, higher and he is for you.

Major blindspots of homeschoolers

2012-01-26T15:09:00.005+08:00

Some time ago, I shared this article. But I forgot to have it posted so more can read it. As I journeyed deeper into parenting, the very foundation for every family is raising kids, but a foundation should never become the only and entire goal.

Last night, before my sons went to bed, I whispered in their ears "Mummy loves you and God loves you whether you are naughty or nice..." And that was the balanced theology we sneaked in before bedtime.

Balance - a simple word that rings true in every facet of our lives. Here are a list of blindspots that were helpful reminders.

The entire article can be found here Family Ministries

Excerpts found here Josh Harris

I read the following article by Reb Bradley in the Virginia Home Educator Magazine and was challenged by it. I appreciate Mr. Bradley's humility in admitting mistakes he's made as a dad. I see some of these tendencies in my own life and many of the observations he makes line-up with things that God has been teaching our church recently. Whether or not you homeschool, I'd encourage you to read this article prayerfully and ask the Holy Spirit to help you examine your motives in your parenting.

Exposing Major Blind Spots of Homeschoolers by Reb Bradley

In the last couple of years, I have heard from multitudes of troubled homeschool parents around the country, a good many of whom were leaders. These parents have graduated their first batch of kids, only to discover that their children didn't turn out the way they thought they would. Many of these children were model homeschoolers while growing up, but sometime after their 18th birthday they began to reveal that they didn't hold to their parents' values.

Some of these young people grew up and left home in defiance of their parents. Others got married against their parents' wishes, and still others got involved with drugs, alcohol, and immorality. I have even heard of several exemplary young men who no longer even believe in God. My own adult children have gone through struggles I never guessed they would face.

Most of these parents remain stunned by their children's choices, because they were fully confident their approach to parenting was going to prevent any such rebellion.

After several years of examining what went wrong in our own home and in the homes of so many conscientious parents, God has opened our eyes to a number of critical blind spots common to homeschoolers and other family-minded people.

1. Having Self-Centered Dreams

The reason that our dreams for our children are so vulnerable to crashing is because they are our dreams, imposed on our own children. As homeschool parents we make great sacrifices and invest a great deal to influence how our children turn out. The problem is that love for children can be lost in love for personal success as a parent. Our concern for ourselves ends up overshadowing our love for our children.

When my oldest son was 18 he developed habits of disrespectful communication and I had to ask him to leave my home for a season. Needless to say, my wife and I were devastated by the discipline we imposed. In the first month he was gone we wept each day for him. We were grieved that he was now unprotected from the junk from which we had worked so hard to shelter him, but more than that, I was heartbroken that my dreams for him and our family would no longer come true. I remember speaking the words to him - "Son, you've ruined my dreams." You see, I had a dream for my family and it involved adult children who lived at home humbly under parental authority, and who would one day leave home to marry, after following my carefully orchestrated courtship process. But now, my son had gone and "messed up" my perfect dream. Nothing is wrong with dreaming of good things for your children, but the truth was, my dream for my son was mostly about me.

In hindsight, what was particularly grievous was that I was more worried about the failure of my dream of "success" than the fact that my son and I had a broken relationship. Although he did come back and was restored to us 4 months later, it still took me years to realize that I had contributed to the damaged relationship.

It is only natural for parents to have high hopes and dreams for their children. However, when we begin to see our children as a reflection or validation of us, we become the center of our dreams, and the children become our source of significance. When that happens in our home it affects the way we relate with our children, and subtly breaks down relationship.

2. Raising Family as an Idol

When we allow the success of our family to determine our security or sense of wellbeing we are seeking from it something God intends us to receive from Him. I am describing idolatry. If homeschoolers are not careful, family can easily become an idol.

At times in their history the Israelites worshipped idols. They didn't always forsake worship of the living God - they merely served other gods with Him. Sometimes they simply made an idol of something good. Jesus rebuked the Pharisees because they elevated issues of holiness higher than the very God who declared them holy (Mat 12:1-8; 23:24). An idol is anything other than God in which we seek security and fulfillment. It may be something biblical or good, but if it has the power to determine our wellbeing, we have elevated it higher than God meant for us. As those who are devoted to our families, and therefore invest a great deal of time, energy, and heart, it is easy to elevate the family too high.

A great problem with idolatry is that idols require sacrifice, and we end up sacrificing relationship with our children for the idol of the family. When we elevate the image of the family, we effectively trade our children's hearts for our reputation.

3. Emphasizing Outward Form

Preoccupation with results often leads to emphasis on outward form. When we are preoccupied with achieving results it is natural to admire the results others seem to have achieved with their children. We like the way the pastor's kids sit reverently in the front pew and take notes of their father's sermon, so we go home and begin to teach our children to sit reverently and to take notes. What we don't know is that the pastor's kids conduct themselves with reverence and attentiveness not because he "cleaned the outside of the cup" and simply drilled them to do so -- he lived a genuine love for Jesus that was contagious, and watched as the fruit was born (Matt 23:26). Parents are destined for disappointment when they admire fruit in others and seek to emulate merely that expression of fruit in their own children. Fruit is born from the inside -- not applied to the outside.

Imagine that the fruit you desired was the edible variety, so you went out into your yard and planted an apple tree. Just suppose that one day, while you were waiting for the apples to begin growing on your tree, you caught a glimpse of a neighbor's apple tree. You noticed in admiration that its branches were laden with big, luscious apples. What would you do? Would you run to the produce market to buy some apples, then go home, and in the dead of night, tie them onto your tree? If you did, the sight of your tree might really impress your neighbors. But that is not what you would do. You would likely go to the neighbor and ask how he cared for and fertilized his tree to produce such fruit. It is the same with our children - luscious fruit will be born from what we put into them - not from what we tie onto them. As a matter of fact, in no time, the fruit that we put onto our children will rot and fall off.

In the homeschool community I have observed that there can be a great emphasis on outward appearance, whether it is dressing for excellence, modesty, grooming, respectful manners, music style, or an attitude of sober reverence in worship. Some even take their children down a country path of humble fashions, raising food, and making bread. Nothing is wrong with any of these things, but we must be careful - we can model for our children outward changes and easily fall into molding their behavior and/or appearance, while missing their hearts. In some circles emphasis on the outward is epidemic.

A friend of mine, a homeschool mom, just passed away of cancer. In the week before she died, I asked her if she had any regrets in her life. She told me she wished she had baked less bread - she said if she had it to do over again she would buy bread and spend more time with her children. She had invested time and energy in pursuing the "path" because she thought it was part of the spiritual homeschool package.

Let us not forget that Jesus came against the Pharisees for their preoccupation with what they felt were legitimate expressions of spirituality. They measured holiness by what was avoided and by what would be seen by others (Mat 6:1-2, 5, 16; 23:5-6, 23-28; John 7:24). The Pharisees were earnest in their religion, but they were preoccupied with outward expressions of holiness rather than hearts of humility and love (Micah 6:8) that would bear genuine fruit. I find it fascinating that in the gospels there is not one mention of Jesus coming against immodesty, even though among his followers were prostitutes and the like. Jesus emphasized cleaning up the inside while the Pharisees were the ones preoccupied with cleaning up the outside. We must ask ourselves: Which are we more like - Jesus or the Pharisees? Even now do we justify ourselves, insisting we emphasize cleaning up both the inside and the outside?

I know that some react strongly to these assertions, so let me emphasize that I do want my wife and daughters to adorn themselves modestly. God did address it once in the New Testament (1Tim 2:9), but we must ask ourselves, is it possible that we have elevated modesty, or other issues of outward form, higher than Jesus did? If he only mentioned modesty once in the epistles and never mentioned it in his earthly ministry, but instead emphasized the importance of a changed heart bearing outward fruit, should we not follow his example and concentrate on reaching our children's hearts? Because He did address it in the first epistle to Timothy, let us teach our children the value of keeping private that which should be, but let us be careful of thinking that just because they look moral on the outside that they have God's values on the inside. Concurrently, let us also be careful of measuring everyone else's enlightenment by what we have decided is modest, spiritual, or holy.

4. Tending to Judge

In setting standards for our family, each of us must work through a process of evaluation and analysis to decide what is safe, wise, or permissible. Once we become convinced of our personal standards, not uncommonly, it follows that we believe they should apply to others as well.

The Pharisees belittled others who didn't hold to their standards. We have gone their way when we judge others. It is easy to miss this area of pride because we may not express our judgments "arrogantly"; we may instead wrap them in compassionate-sounding words. Arrogance wrapped in concerned tones is deceiving.

Pride is so deceptive that we won't know our judgments are even judgments. We will think we are just making observations and feeling pity, when in fact, we are looking down on others from our lofty place of confident enlightenment. It is a high view of ourselves that allows us to condescend to and belittle others in our mind. And if you already knew all this, be careful - pride will even cause us to be amazed that others didn't see what was so obvious to us.

Typically, when we belittle others who don't measure up to our standards, we will also imagine others are judging us. Consequently, we will find ourselves frequently being defensive. We assume that others will think lowly of us for some perceived inadequacy, so we offer unsolicited explanations and clarifications for us or our children. For example, let's say we walked past a TV at Sears and saw something of interest - when we tell others what we saw, we are careful to clarify that we saw it at Sears and weren't watching a TV at home. If we live under fear of judgment, not only will we tend to be on the defensive, but whenever we are in a public setting where our children might be "watched," we will put pressure on them.

When pride is working its work in us, we sincerely believe our personal opinions reflect God's utmost priorities and standards. What we believe to be our "enlightened" perspective becomes a filter by which we gauge others' spirituality, and therefore limits our options for fellowship. We develop a very narrow definition of what we call "likeminded" people, based on the outworkings of our values and opinions. Now we are on a path to exclusivity when we will no longer associate with those who will be with us in eternity. Is it possible we have lost sight of fellowship based on love and devotion to Jesus, and have substituted personal standards and a narrow view of Christian liberty?

There are several serious consequences of raising children in a home marked by pride and judgment. Children may grow up also judging others. Or, they may hide their real values, acting as though they embrace our values, when, in fact, they are simply seeking to avoid discipline and lectures at home. Or, they may see the shallowness of our legalistic faith that consists primarily of "avoid this, wear that, attend this," and not be attracted to it in the least.

5. Depending on Formulas

Homeschool parents often take a formulaic approach to parenting. Committed to achieving results with our children, we look for formulas and principles to ensure our success. Knowing the Bible is full of the wisdom and promises of God, we look to it for its self-working principles and promised methods. Yet, there's a problem with that. We are commanded to trust in God, not in formulas (John 14:1; Ps 37:5; 62:8). There is a monumental difference.

Trust in formulas is really dependence upon ourselves to carry out a procedure correctly. But anyone who really understands the grace of the gospel knows that we cannot take personal credit for any spiritual accomplishments. We are totally God's workmanship (Eph 2:10; Phil 2:13; 1:6) and everything good in our lives is a gift from Him (James 1:17). We can do absolutely nothing by ourselves for which we can take credit (Eph 2:8-9; Gal 6:14; Rom 4:2; 1 Cor 1:28-31; 2 Cor 11:30). Yet many of us lean toward a formulaic mentality, because our fallen natures are drawn toward self-reliance. We want to feel that by our own efforts (works) we have achieved something that will make us acceptable to God - by nature we are legalistic.

God doesn't want us to trust in principles, methods, or formulas, no matter how "biblical" they seem. God wants us to trust in HIM!

6. Over-Dependence on Authority and Control.
Fruitful training of children and roses require a goal, a plan, and diligence in labor. However, the difference is that roses have no mind of their own and only grow as they are allowed. Children are people--self-determining individuals--and they ultimately choose how they will respond to parental influence.

No amount of parental control or restriction will guarantee that a child will turn out exactly as directed. Obviously, our training increases the likelihood our children will cling to the faith when they reach maturity, or turn back to Christ if they do enter a season of rebellion, but our training does not guarantee the desired outcome.

I know that some will struggle with the assertion that parents do not have total control over the outcome of their parenting, because of Proverbs 22:6. And I would have struggled too, ten years ago, but upon examination of the passage in question, I am convinced that it is a verse meant as an admonition of wisdom, not as a promise and guarantee of outcome. Like many of the sayings in Proverbs it is written as a statement of probability and not as a promise.

Solomon set for us a great example of balanced parenting - he admonished his young adult children and gave them commandments, but he knew that for them to honor his commands he needed their hearts. That's why he said, "My son, give me your heart and let your eyes keep to my ways" (Prov 23:26). The apostle Paul knew how much he needed the hearts of those he exhorted, and therefore told them "... although in Christ I could be bold and order you to do what you ought to do, 9 yet I appeal to you on the basis of love..." (Phile 1:8-9).

If we are to have significant influence of our teenage children we must have their hearts. Winning their hearts means gaining the opportunity to influence who they are, not just what they do.

7. Over-Reliance Upon Sheltering

An over-dependence on control in a family is often accompanied by an over-reliance on sheltering of children. It is not uncommon for homeschool parents to feel that since they filter whatever their children see and hear, they will control the results in their lives. That was me for many years. I remember saying to people, "I am controlling the influences in my children's lives, so I am going to control the outcome." I was absolutely certain that my children would be exempted from significant temptation and from developing particular bad habits because I was controlling what touched their lives.

In the last five years I have heard countless reports of highly sheltered homeschool children who grew up and abandoned their parents' values. Some of these children were never allowed out of their parents' sight and were not permitted to be in any kind of group setting, even with other "like-minded" kids, yet they still managed to develop an appetite for the world's pleasures. While I've seen sheltered children grow up and turn away from their parents' standards, conversely, I've known some Christian young people who went to public school, watched TV, attended youth groups, and dated, yet they walk in purity, have respectful, loving relationships with their parents, and now enjoy good marriages. Their parents broke the all the "rules of sheltering," yet these kids grew up close to their families and resilient in their walks with Christ.

Protecting from temptations and corrupting influences is part of raising children. Every parent shelters to one degree or another. All parents shelter - they just draw their lines in different places.Protecting our children is not only a natural response of paternal love, but fulfills the commands of God. The Scriptures are clear that we are to make no provision for our flesh (Rom 13:14) and are to avoid all corrupting influences (2 Cor 6:17-7:1). It warns us that bad company corrupts good morals (1 Cor 15:33) and that those who spend too much time with bad people may learn their ways (Prov 22:24-25) and suffer for it (Prov 13:20). Just as our Father in heaven will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we can bear (1 Cor 10:13), we rightly keep our children out of situations they will lack the moral strength to handle. Young children are weak and we are to protect the weak (1 Thes 5:12).

God understood the vulnerability of human nature when he gave the Israelites instructions before they entered the Promised Land. He told them to chase out the idol-worshipping Pagans in the land, lest His people associate with them and be drawn into idolatry (Ex 23:32-33; Num 33:51-56; Josh 23:7-13). The Israelites disregarded God's protective warning and allowed some Pagans to remain in the land. Subsequently, each successive generation of young people was lost to idolatry. God instructed them to shelter their families, but their neglect of His warnings brought pain to their children and to their grandchildren for many generations.

However, we are imbalanced when sheltering from harm is the predominant expression of our parenting. Sheltering is a critical part of parenting, but if parents keep it their primary focus, the children will grow up ill equipped to handle the temptations in the world.A child isolated from disease may appear to be of the greatest health to his parents, but the health of the human body is only proven by how it withstands an attack. A weak constitution succumbs to every germ and virus - a strong one fights them off. Our spiritual and moral health is developed and proved in the same way.

If we isolate our kids from the world until they are adults they may appear to us to be spiritually minded and strong in character. However, it is how they ultimately engage the world that proves their spiritual resilience. This is because sheltering does not transform the human heart - it merely preserves it, temporarily.

It is true that a boxer trains without an opponent until his coach decides he is ready for an actual fight. And it is true that a farmer might raise plants in a greenhouse until they are mature enough to be transplanted and face the various elements of nature. So also, we keep our children away from bad influences when they are young and need to grow unhindered in character and spiritual wisdom. The problem is that sheltering without significant preparation to engage the world fails to equip them. In fact, it may insure that they will fall in their first solo encounters.

Growing up isolated from temptation can develop a child who appears spiritually strong, but the appearance is not reality. When I was in college I moved to northern California to live for a summer in a Christian commune. I was somewhat isolated from the world and surrounded by an amazing support system of my fellow "Jesus people." I remember feeling so full of faith, so committed to holiness, and so in love with God that summer. However, the "spirituality" I felt and the level of holiness I achieved was not real and could not endure testing. At the end of summer I returned to college in Southern California and discovered that I had not developed true spiritual muscles - when faced with temptation I fell flat on my face every time. The communal environment, isolated from significant temptation, had not prepared me for the battle I would face in the world. Valid spiritual growth required that I face temptation and develop the capacity to resist it, which eventually I did. My isolation from temptation had left me like a boxer who had shadow boxed, trained rigorously, and looked good in his trunks, but had never faced a sparring partner, let alone a true opponent.

I believe that a primary reason we over-rely on sheltering is because it is easy. It requires no planning or expenditure of energy. It takes minimal immediate brainpower. we simply assess that something might be harmful and say to our children, "No." I don't know if I would go so far as to call it lazy parenting, but I will say that investing in our children takes a lot more work and a lot more time.

8. Not Passing On a Pure Faith

We've all heard it said that faith is caught and not taught. The Galatian church polluted their faith by seeking to make themselves acceptable to God with what they did or didn't do" (Gal 3:3). In the same way, we may have started off years ago with a simple, undefiled faith, but the more we got caught up in all the "works" of intense parenting, the more we moved away from a simple faith contagious to our children. It is critical for our sake, let alone for our children, that we enjoy a life-giving faith in Christ with no religious trappings added to it.

As I look back, I see that with my older children I was too concerned with how they were perceived by others. I saw their behavior as a reflection on me, and I wanted to look good. They, therefore, sensed in me a measure of pretentiousness--not the genuineness of faith that would have drawn them to me or to the Jesus I spoke about. My sincere concern for their character was overshadowed by my concern for my reputation. I have discovered that, like me, multitudes of parents want their children's hearts but live a faith that fails to completely attract them.

9. Not Cultivating a Loving Relationship With Our Children

Relationships between parents and teens are weakest in control-oriented homes. Bev and I treated our children as if they were "projects." The more they became projects, the less we had significant relationship. The less we had relationship, the more we lost their hearts. Without their hearts, the less we were able to influence them or their values. We regularly spent hour coaching and admonishing them during the teen years, not realizing that without their hearts, the best we could do was make more rules and devise new consequences. The consequences affected the outside, but not the inside.

Our Story
When my oldest son was almost 16 we let him get his first job washing dishes at a restaurant managed by a Christian friend of ours. As diehard shelterers we wrestled with whether or not our son was ready to enter the world's workforce. We knew we couldn't shelter him forever, and so finally concluded that he should be old enough to send into the world two nights a week. What we didn't realize was that he would be working with drug-using, tattooed, partiers, and our Christian friend was never scheduled to work our son's shift.

Within a month it became apparent that our son's new work associates were having an effect on him. He came home one evening and asked, "Dad, can I dye my hair blue?" After my wife was finally able to peal me off the ceiling, I laid into him, reminding him whose son he was, and that I would not have people at church telling their children not to be like the pastor's son. I explained that just because he wanted to use washable dye, it didn't make me any happier. (Note that my intense reaction had to do with "outward appearances" and the impact on me.)

Of course, my wife and I immediately began to evaluate whether we had made a mistake by letting him take the job. After an intense discussion we decided to coach him more carefully and let him keep his job.

Two months later he came home from work and asked me if he could pierce his ear. Again, my wife had to peal me off the ceiling. He thought it might be okay since he wanted a cross earring -- like I was supposed to be happy, because it would be a "sanctified" piercing. If that wasn't enough, he also wanted to get a tattoo! But it was going to be okay, because it would be a Christian tattoo!

As I was looking back on this experience several years later, something my son said shortly after he started his job kept coming back to me. When I picked him up the second night of work, he got in the car with a big smile on his face and said "They like me!" As I dwelt on that comment, it suddenly came clear to me - my son had finally met someone who liked him for who he was. Few others in his entire life had shown him much acceptance, especially not his mother and I. It is no exaggeration - in our efforts to shape and improve him, all we did was find fault with everything he did. We loved him dearly, but he constantly heard from us that what he did (who he was) wasn't good enough. He craved our approval, but we couldn't be pleased. Years later, I realized he had given up trying to please us when he was 14, and from then on he was just patronizing us.

The reason our son wanted to adorn himself like his work associates, was because they accepted him for who he was. He wanted to fit in with those who made him feel significant. He wanted to be like those who gave him a sense of identity. The problem wasn't one that could be solved by extended sheltering - he could have been sheltered until he was 30 and he still would have been vulnerable. The problem was that we had sent our son into the world insecure in who he was. He went into the world with a hole in his heart that God had wanted to fill through his parents.

Whether believer or unbeliever, those young people who are least tempted to follow the crowd are those who are secure in themselves and don't need the approval of others. The Bible calls insecurity the fear of man - it is allowing other's opinions of us to affect our values and choices.

The Solution

In the Bible we see that people obeyed God for two reasons - fear and love. King David sang of his love for God (Ps 18:1; 116:1; 119:159) and he also sang of the fear of God (Ps 2:11; 22:25; 33:8). God wants His followers to be drawn to Him out of love (Jer 31:3), and that's why it is His kindness that leads us to repentance (Rom 2:4). But He also wants us to be kept on the path by fear of His authority (Luke 12:5; 1 Pet 2:17). That's why He told the Israelites He wanted both their fear and their love; "And now, O Israel, what does the LORD your God ask of you but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul" (Deut 10:12). With our children, it should be the same.

Those who have the most power to influence our hearts are those to whom we are drawn: those who succeed with our values (which is what a hero is), those who can benefit us, those who make us feel valuable, and those who have earned our respect.

If our children grow up motivated only by fear of consequence, they will eventually get away with what they can whenever we are not around (Eph 6:6). If we have their hearts they will seek to honor us whether we are present or not, and their hearts will remain open to our influence.

I refer you to the apostle Paul who modeled this approach to leadership perfectly, "Therefore, although in Christ I could be bold and order you to do what you ought to do, yet I appeal to you on the basis of love..." (Phile 1:8-9a). Paul's pattern with the churches suggests he understood that appeals to love were more powerful than commands and threats.

Conclusion

I am convinced that the most contagious parenting is living a heartfelt faith before your children. Fruitful interaction is not about what you do to your young people, but who you are with them. It's about having a real faith in God, and expressing it in a real relationship with a real person--not about methods and self-working principles. God intends that the side-effect of loving Jesus and enjoying the grace of the gospel will be that all people--including our children--will be touched by the Savior in us. I pray in Jesus' name that as you read these words you will experience the grace of God in a fresh and new way.

Reb Bradley is a writer and national conference speaker. Read the complete article from which this excerpt was taken here. Visit www.familyministries.com to order Reb's CD set Influencing Children's Hearts.

Reprinted with permission from The Virginia Home Educator, Fall 2011.

Homeschooling is a lifestyle

2012-01-16T16:34:00.010+08:00

We had dabbled in homeschooling for about 2 or 3 years now. This year we transit into fully homeschooling our two boys.

For us, homeschooling is not about choosing the best curriculum or get our hands on all the variety of materials. There could be all the best stuff out there but we are still not teaching out kids to be.

We are not into accumulating nor are we trying to get as much done as we possibly can; we are not hot-housing our kids, nor are we bring the school home. Homeschooling to us, is a lifestyle.

Chinese New Year is round the corner. My 4.5 year old is asking me why is everything red in colour. Its a good question, simple enough, but one that a Bible believing parent ought to weigh out religious overtones.

I thought for a moment and said "Chinese who do not worship our Lord, Jesus Christ believes that red stands for good luck". He understood that we do not believe in luck.

But it is often when our friends wish us good luck that we learn to be gracious in accepting what they give. We learn that when others give us good things with good intention, we say thank you even though we may not like it, or do not partake in the same belief. We may not recieve it into our lives, but we ought to be polite. Today we are talking about "luck" and "food".

We walked through Chinatown recently as we always do yearly around Chinese New Year period. My son commented that others are worshipping the idols. We use these terms as it is, but we had to teach that he be gentle when he say that. Some people may find it offensive so we speak softly. I said "Because others who do not share the same beliefs may misunderstand us, so we try to care for how they feel. Even though we are different, we still love the people like Jesus love them."

This Chinese New Year, we learnt to love others who are different and learn to be a chinese who is a christian. All other traditions are easily found in textbooks abound, but homeschooling, it is really a lifestyle. And why not, we will be making lanterns craft and decorating our house! The doing is usually the easiest part. Living in the age of information overload, there are all sorts of fancy resources to suit ones liking.

How not to choose a good cultural story book?

My First Chinese New Year by Katz karen introduces readers to the traditions and importance of this holiday in China with My First Chinese New Year. "Red means good luck and happiness in China" reads the text, as mother and child hang patterned red tissues for decoration. The girl narrator "sweep[s] away the bad luck from last year" with her younger sister and makes an altar "to honor our ancestors" with her grandfather, among other activities sure to inspire readers and their kin. The family enjoying a banquet and a colorful parade round out the fun

I had chosen not to read this book this year because I think not all spiritual matters are quite as easily understood by a 4 year old. Ancestral worship goes into familiar spirits and the likes and it is important that we understand it correctly to explain it at their level.

Recommended good reads for Chinese New Year?
1. A New Year's Reunion by Li Qiong Yu is a great read - English & Mandarin version. Suitable for aged 5-8yr old. It talks about the importance of family.
Little Maomao s father works in faraway places and comes home just once a year, for Chinese New Year. At first Maomao barely recognizes him, but before long the family is happily making sticky rice balls, listening to firecrackers, and watching the dragon dance in the streets below. Papa gets a haircut, makes repairs to the house, and hides a lucky coin for Maomao to find. Which she does! But all too soon it is time for Papa to go away again. This poignant, vibrantly illustrated tale, which won the prestigious Feng Zikai Chinese Children s Picture Book Award in 2009, is sure to resonate with every child who misses relatives when they are away and shows how a family s love is strong enough to endure over time and distance.

Nian the New Year Monster by TaoShu. Suitable for 3-5yr olds.
Nian is a legend. A legend is a fictitious story. Since this year is the year of dragon, this book is suitable to explain away about dragons. We are also including a segment on what the Bible says about the dragon. I like Tao Shu series because there are many elements in Chinese Culture that we could talk about to adopt or not. So this provides an excellent platform for our 5yr old in the understanding of how we can walk as a Chinese yet a Christ Follower.

New Blog: Oak Tree Baby

2012-01-10T22:10:00.003+08:00

Dear Friends,
My new blog is finally almost ready, but you could already pop over to take a peek. That's what friends are for, my blog and I are work in progress, so we don't need to be perfect to be able to share. Come on over to Oak Tree Baby!

That is where I will be sharing all the parenting experiences and stories. And in this new blog, I would be looking for YOUR stories too. Parenting is tough and there are those who triumph over tough situations. So I would be looking out for those to feature on my blog because these are the type of stories that help others go on. So if you have something worthy, please don't be shy, tell me!!!

Another exciting thing this new blog offers is shopping! You would see childrens toys, accessories and character building resources for you and your family. Everything related to parenting and play would be housed under 1 roof. How neat is that? :)

Sharon's Lavender Courtyard would remain my journal where I will continue to share knick knacks of sorts. Messy, free, spontaneous, crazy, passionate stuff that I care for deeply daily. Do stop by to say hi here or at Oak Tree Baby okie? And, if you like my new blog and Oak Tree Baby/Face Book , tell others about it and let me know. I would love thank you personally. *wink*

Love always,

We are moving

2011-11-24T17:14:00.003+08:00

In all sense of the word, we are moving.

I know I have been silent for a couple of months. Time flies isnt it? First, we were selling our house to move into a slightly bigger one, then our trusted helper decide to go home. And all in the midst where I was planning to move our parenting section of the blog to somewhere NEW!

So you can imagine the chaos literally. I was cooking, cleaning, teaching, managing the house hunt, cleaning, maid hunt, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. It has been about a month.

Life in transition is never fun, because one minute we are hopeful, the other we are not. Amidst the adjustments, I held on tightly what I could never do without, spending time with God and serving his people. Because when uncertain circumstances come, the only certainty we can rely on is God.

So pardon me while I have to get some stuff sorted out around the house. Soon and very soon, you should be able to see our new blog, new helper & new house. I think God is preparing us for a brand new year indeed!

ps: I still love to connect with you. Drop me an email!

Re-casting our anxiety

2011-09-18T23:05:00.007+08:00

Beautiful melody and amazing presence of God this song brings.

Today, my helper forgot to bring my sons' pull-over to church. I was upset at her forgetfulness as this was a no-brainer weekly duty.

Because the worship room and classroom were really cold with air-conditioned, I was fearful that my sons would fall sick due to the cold as they are usually prone and my older son's history of complication with respiratory issues. In my fear, I felt upset. And I thought about the hectic schedule we are having this week with my bazaar and the following week when my husband and I would be away from my boys. Honestly, I sensed my anxiety rising slowly but surely.

Every rhyme and reason tells me I have the right to vent or give her a peace of my mind, but in that instant, I choose to re-cast my anxiety upon the Lord. There is nothing I could do to change what was done. As we sat in the taxi heading towards church, I felt absolutely sick to the stomach & inadequate, I prayed anyway with all that my heart could muster, "God, please be the blanket of warmth and cover both my boys today. Give them strength and build them up. Thank you Lord."

After service, I picked up my son. His hands were freezing cold. But guess what, the Lord DID hug him and preserve him. He told me it was cold, but not too cold. :))) thank God.

And this song, when we sang this song during worship, this was me giving my anxiety to him. God is so faithful. :) Thank God, Praise him & bless him.

If you have an area of need, or if it may be someone else's shortcoming that causes your fall, let us not point our fingers but re-cast our anxiety upon the Lord. May God strengthen you. He is a God that cares for you, your shield, your strength, your portion, deliverer, your shelter, strong tower, your very present help in time of need. He is your over comer as he is mine.

Peer Pressure

2011-09-15T15:25:00.004+08:00

Yesterday, my son came home from preschool and tells me he wants to put an extra set of clothes in his bag for change when he finishes school. Curious, I asked him why. He mentioned that there are many people who change into their own clothes after school so he wants to do the same.

It reminds me of a very common reason most parents use when trying to motivate a child to do something. A statement as innocent as "Sam, drink your water, look all your friends are drinking" is a statement that teaches our kids to model other kids. Technically, there is nothing wrong with learning from those who are doing right, but the motivations lacks a purpose.

It is always easier to follow a behaviour, but many of us lack the initiative to question a motive.
I find that it takes practise in whichever circumstance to be able to dive straight into the heart of matters. We could say, "Sam, drink your water, the weather is too hot for us", or "Sam, drink your water, you are thirsty." Sometimes young kids do have too much fun at play.

Proverbs 29:25 The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe. Peer Pressure stems from the root of fear and the desire to 'fit in', do the same thing, try not to be too different or be nice and not offend. The dictionary would define a 'snare' as a trap; Something that serves to entangle the unwary.

Be wise, therefore, we can be loving and kind without having to do everything the world is doing.
Begin by asking ourselves when we parent, "Whose footsteps are we having our kids follow?" "Why are we getting the child to do what he is doing?"

Could we be caving in to peer pressure ourselves?

When kids slide. Backwards.

2011-09-08T21:58:00.004+08:00

There were such times families with young kids thrive on routine. Not a slavish sort but one that is filled with expectation; putting the main thing the main thing. Worship, meal times, reading times, play times etc.

Once or twice every year, I would discover that kids slide backwards. It happens when routine is thrown of out of the window either via a holiday or when relatives spends extended time with the kids.

We had been on countless holidays and each time routine goes, their boundaries goes.

We felt that it is impossible to pre-empt every situation and expect a kid to know that 6 switches lined up in a row (in a hotel room) is not a toy, cuz we never had that at home!
And to make things worse, you have two boys (wired like boys, if you know what I mean) fighting to flick switches at every single opportunity. Talk about a holiday. Yeah, that's right, I think they ARE having fun.

The last time this happened was at at Turi Beach Resort, Batam, last month. Our two year-old was having too much fun with the switches flicking on then off, and on then off, while my four year-old was trying to figure out which switch does what. Both motivations were not wrong. But we had an obligation to be good steward of a property that does not belong to us as well. Then they started to fight because there were only 6 switches and you are darn right 6 switches were not enough for 2 boys!

Anyways, long story short. I sat down in one of the many pry-them-apart-and-make-sure -no-casualty sessions and taught them to take turns, to speak kindly and to discuss. And everyone had to stop flicking switches after a certain lights are turned-on etc. You know, one of those really complex conversation that could turn a simple request into fist fights. So, parents, take heed, it is better stick around when they are doing that.

Well, I figured, after two children. Let's just enjoy the process. :) Possible? completely!

Day to day obedience; I have found that what really undergird these unpredictable moments were the day to day obedience that we take them through, complete with consequence which disobedience brings. They would be tested how quick they are able to submit now that they are out of their comfort zone, or should I say our comfort zone. Interesting how it works both ways! They will get into hairy situations and they will most probably make our holiday very interesting, but they will also learn that we are still their very loving parents, even on a holiday. :)

Trust us, resourceful parents to find any corner so that we can have the child stand and discipline if needed. It is hard to withdraw a privilege during a holiday especially when we came especially for it, so don't even try. However, we found some things really helped.

Instill quiet time or sit-down time; These help young kids get a hold of their self-control. Quiet moments help them focus and practise being still. We like quiet scenic/sun-sand-sea type of holidays, so that provides excellent opportunity to sit and watch and speak of the awesome beauty God created. We could also bring some sit-down toys along - manipulative, puzzles, card games (Family, Uno, tic-tac-toe, Poker Cards etc). Gather pebbles, sea shells, leaves for counting, patterning etc. Bring a few books along, or activity books and papers, crayons for doddling while waiting or quiet play.

Slot in a routine anyway; some predictability gives security for young kids. Continue doing some things we do everyday. First thing we rise, it could be reading the Bible, singing a few worship songs or praying together. Reading some books after every meal, poems, rhymes. Invent games or play "I spy" in various ways in long car trips. Thanking God at the end of the day together. Practice small doses of reflection everyday with the family if possible.

Reminders. Do this practically every morning but especially during holiday when boundaries are often unclear; Remind the children that we love them and want the best for them. Relationship above rules.

Last, but not least; remember I mentioned it works both ways?

Practise joy being with our children daily, not just when we are beside them, or driving them.

Practise allowing the holy spirit to instill spirit of self-control daily.

Practise imparting wisdom into different situations daily.

Then go for a holiday! When kids are tested so are we. Only be sure that when our kids slide backwards, we are there to help them slide back. Some re-training once on home base may be necessary but it is always do-able. 3 steps forward, 1 step back!

Have fun!

This is our God - Hillsong

2011-09-06T21:07:00.002+08:00

I am grateful for the love that God has for each one of us, is there any situation that cannot be overcome? Each of us have a seed of Hope, if we continue to keep our eyes on him.

There are so much novelty the world is tempting us, each thing requiring more time and more resources from us. What God desires is that we sit by his feet, letting him lavish his love on us. Rest, is so hard, it seemed. Yet it is in his word that he say "those who wait on him will rise like eagles"- Isaiah 40:31. Picture that eagles soaring over the blue sky... such freedom and strength.

Amazed and so grateful for his power, his love, his endless grace. He is our God, our conqueror, the victorious King, rescuer of the World.

If anyone needs strength, the Lord says come, wait on him. Just soak in his presence, be still and know that he is the only one who would hold you up.

Intro E,Abm,C#m,A x2


E                 Abm
Your grace is enough
           C#m
More than I need
       A           E
At Your word I will believe
        Abm    
I wait for You
         C#m
Draw near again
        A             B
Let Your Spirit make me new


      E/G#         A
I will fall at Your feet
      F#m           B
I will fall at Your feet
        E/G#          A   
And I will worship You here
(F#m to repeat chorus)

E,Abm,C#m,A

E                Abm
Your presence in me
               C#m
Jesus light the way
      A             E
By the power of Your word
          Abm
I am restored
      C#m
I am redeemed
        A       B
By Your Spirit I am free


BRIDGE:
E,B,F#m,C#m,A,E

          E
Freely You gave it all for us
                B
Surrendered Your life upon that cross
            F#m
Great is the love
              C#m
Poured out for all
    A       E
This is our God
         E
Lifted on high from death to life
           B
Forever our God is glorified
           F#m
Servant and King
           C#m
Rescued the world
    A      E
This is our God

From snatching to sharing

2011-08-09T23:13:00.009+08:00

This marks the first of our many topics on "Sibling Rivalry". Well actually, I rather "Keep the Sibling, lose the Rivalry", to borrow these words from Ps Tedd Tripp.

With late marriages, comes late pregnancies and couples who give birth to siblings who are altogether too close in their age gap. Great play-mates but also lots of competition. If the natural flow of things are often good, we need not interfere with nature. But they seldom are.

We often wonder why young kids or rather we, as parents can't get them to function pass the level of 'me-first' mentality. Is it alright for 2 yr-old to snatch and claw or shout to get what he wants and NOT ok for a 4 yr old to do that?

Let me try to phrase it this way, "Is it ok for a CEO to storm out of a meeting in anger and NOT ok for a twenty-one year old to do that?"

Well, courtesy is not limited to how old a person is and what position a person might hold, so why do we often excuse those in power or the younger sibling? The Bible require that of us all. The Bible says that "Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right." Proverbs 20:11.

Ps Tedd Tripp in his book , Shepherding a Child's Heart devotes just a small section to explaining the heart of sibling rivalry.

Tedd Tripp says, "The classic response is "Who had it first?" This response misses heart issues. "Who had it first" is an issue of justice. Justice operates in favour of the child who was quicker draw in getting the toy."

"Both children are displaying a hardness of heart toward the other. both are selfish. Both children are saying " I don't care about you or your happiness. I am only concerned about myself. I want this toy. My happiness depends on possessing it. I will have it and be happy regardless of what that means to you."

"Two children are breaking God's law. One is taking the toy that the other has. The other is keeping the advantage. The circumstances are different , but the heart issue is the same - "I want my happiness, even at your expense."

I absolutely love the fact that we are not training behaviours. Because the right behaviour can look all neat and pretty and can very well be a snare to how we think others would think of our children, which is not the point! We don't train up our kids to impress. We can be producing little pharisees who are clean on the outside and dirty on the inside. For the glory of men and not unto the Lord.

Honestly, when kids fight, it can be dishevelling. It is like a mini crisis that can catch us unaware! But good news is, after handling a few, we usually know how to spot one before it happens! Stay close to kids when they play & observe. Come to think of it, parenting IS 70% observing and 25% training, 5% disciplining. Whew! That means we get to keep our job as a parent!

Let me digress, if we catch ourselves correcting/disciplining our children 50% of the time, that probably means we have either not train or observe them enough, or that they are in a completely new environment where they know there are NO boundaries. Simple formula. Really achievable. Don't believe, watch them in their grannies place. hahah... :) (Sorry, I am generalizing of course!)

Anyways, we have kinda settled into a routine of 'settling fights' after many many rounds of it since er... few months back. This is what we do.

Fight breaks out.

Child A : May I have it (lollipop/ball/car) please?

Child B : Ok you may have it, but pass it to me when you are done, OR let me play first and I'll let you have it when I am done, OR we can play together, OR there is another toy you can play etc.

Child A (could say): Ok (sits and wait patiently) OR No, I don't want to wait OR why don't we play together?

I intervene and either give suggestion to love and share, or be patient and wait. I also point out heart attitude based on what they say. "I don't want to wait" simply means impatience, so if he don't wait, he would be at the mercy of another child. The other child can decide to be compassionate and pass the toy to him or insist. And the other child has to learn to be patient anyway.

What one child decides would impact how the other child feels. This is a life principle. For our decision is not only ourselves but it matters to the others around us as well. I point out that his actions/decision would cause others to feel sad or hurt.

If both parties are unwilling to settle on either options, they had to go on to discuss UNTIL they arrive at a consensus. I go between them to clarify their thoughts to each other.

It is difficult to get both child to exercise a best heart attitude at any brawl, so I don't strive to do that. I try to lead the child to understand each situation and do better than the last.

What I also try to do, I try to input as much Godly attitude as I can at any given opportunity throughout the day, a little here and a little there. I do, however take note of a regular display of a hardness of a heart and point it out to the child and uses devotional time to discuss it, praying with the child, worshiping God etc.

Of course, brawls would still happen in the middle of a discussion. In a worse case scenario where tempers flares, theirs or ours, I would choose to remove the toy and remove everyone from the scene. Everyone had to sit down and calm down first.

If no one is able to reach a consensus once we re-group. I'm afraid play time is over and toy is removed. We choose to let natural consequence take place. Any child who throws a tantrum and is unable to discuss is taken away to calm down as well.

However, this is NOT the end of it. Discipline without the formation of the heart is the least effective tool of correction. At a later part of the day, we sit down and discuss the situation. For our 4 yr old, we use a devotional resource entitled "Gotto have God :Fun Devotions for boys" This book categorise by character, so we only need to look up, for example "Patience" and find something to teach, a story to tell and an activity. Only drawback is that I still had to do some research from the Bible to seal in what the child needs to learn. Also not all activities are directly link to the character traits so I do need other materials to complement. Overall, however, it provides me a quick search and a story within that my 4 yr old enjoys learning from.

Our 2 yr old simply had an early start (because he was born with a sibling and most 2 yr old don't snatch. ) that snatching is not right and does not please God. Through consistent training, even a 2 yr old can be taught to be courteous and to ask "May I have the toy... and to reply, "I will pass it to you when I am done OR there you go, you can play first."
Wouldn't it be a breath of fresh air to see such gracious children?

Often it is the lack of love & patience that causes the brawl. We teach that it is Biblical that "Patience or love is slow to anger & patience is waiting" There are many ways to teach toddlers and the devotional is only one way.

Much is it for them to learn, it is far more important for us to learn to be patient from our Creator. Why, we too are imperfect people reaching out to little imperfect beings. P.a.t.i.e.n.c.e.

Discipleship

2011-08-08T23:53:00.002+08:00

The boys were cycling to the pool one day when half way through the journey, one of the pedal fell out from KB's bike. So I called for all to stop, got down on all fours and tried to look like the brave and know-it-all handy women. I was probably trying to twist that 'thing' in for about 15 mins and all that time, KB was trying to look out for his younger brother.

Finally, not withstanding the blaze of sun on my face, actually I think it was a case of finally admitting that I can't that I had to tell the boys to let's go on and get someone else to do it for us.

At the pool, I contemplated asking the lifeguard, but was too impatient to get into the water with the boys. After our swim, I left to get change. Only to see KB, picking up the pedal and screwed the pedal in... effortlessly! I was .. overjoyed! I went " You know how to do it? You're SO smart , How do you know it?"

KB said to me "I saw pa pa do it, so I know it." Bingo! That's why I didn't. *grin* Discipleship in the making :)

A letter to appreciate school

2011-08-04T15:28:00.010+08:00

Time flies, the day KB had to attend school, we cried. The day it was time to withdraw him we cried. Despite which, we had to move forward in view of long-term benefits.

With beautiful memories, we will soon close this chapter comes Sept as we launch fully into homeschooling 2 toddlers. We thank God for how much he is adapting in school during this period.

The teacher had this to say "Theo is an independent and fast worker, way to go!"

4 Aug 2011

Dear principle,

We have spoken with teacher xx of N2 and informed her of our decision to withdraw Theophilus from school to homeschool him.

We were in great praise of the time he spent in school, proven himself to be independent, secure and confident. We feel extremely blessed to have a gentle and experienced teacher such as Mrs xx; she is able to speak with the children and manage a class of kids with ease. I witnessed that on my first day with Theo and has been impressed with her. We also thank God for Guo Lao Shi (ex-chinese teacher) who is extremely pleasant and cheerful. My son, Theo spoke fondly of both teachers.

However, we wanted to facilitate a greater child-directed learning and fuel Theo’s need to keep enquiring in his discovery, as well as to create more opportunities for social interactions, not just with peers but with the society-at-large, hence our decision to homeschool him.

Arise Kindy comes across as peaceful & structured – a comfortable place that young children can go to and feel secure. We certainly are very pleased that Theo was able to enjoy his time there! We will miss Mrs xx very much and I’m sure Theo will as well.

We were wondering if we could have Mrs xx over for one of our family dinner? We want to thank her for all the love and care she has invested in all the kids and also in Theo.

Theo would be finishing his final term this Sept.

Thank you so much,
Sincerely,

Reign in Us - Starfield

2011-08-02T23:38:00.003+08:00

Reign in us - As we practise the enduring presence of God, we cry out for the reign of God in our lives so that we walk a life carrying His presence, bringing Hope to the hopeless, healing to the wounded, answers to problems, love instead of pain. We are called to transform cultures.

Reign In Us
Starfield
Source:Guitar Tab

chorus]

[intro] G D C Em C2 D

[verse1]
   Em                               C2                  D                  
You thought of us before the world began to breathe, You knew our names
                 G   D/F#
before we came to be
   Em                          C2                   D                
You saw the very day we'd fall away from You and how desperately we need to
    G          D/F#
be redeemed

[prechorus]
    C2         D              Am                 D
Lord Jesus come lead us, we're desperate for Your touch

[chorus]
G                       D                       C        Em            C2 
Oh Great and Mighty One with one desire we come that You would reign, that
         D
You would reign in us
G                          D                 C         Em           C2
We're offering up our lives a living sacrifice that You would reign that You
     D                  G
would reign in us

[verse2]
Em                            C2                D
Spirit of the Living God fall fresh again, come search our hearts and purify
    G      D/F#
our lives
  Em                                   C2                D
We need Your perfect love, we need Your discipline, we're lost unless You
                  G      D/F#
guide us with Your light

[prechorus]

[chorus]

[bridge]
      D             C        G           D
We cry out for Your love to refine us cry out
        C         G           D             C        G       Em    
For Your love to define us cry out, for Your mercy to keep us blameless
         D
until You return

[chorus] x2

[bridge2] x3
  C2            G        D                  C2        G         D
So reign, please reign in us come purify our hearts we need Your touch
                      C2        G       D
Come cleanse us like a flood and send us out
                         C2         G        D
So the world may know You reign, You reign in us

Do you like my new blog design?

2011-07-31T16:16:00.003+08:00

The old blog was getting a little too cluttered, not unlike my wardrobe.
I have started putting 'stickers' here, there, everywhere.
Was also getting a little tired of seeing too many lines.

So I gave my blog a fresh new paint!
I always love colours of blue ; turqoise, lime, lilac ...
it evokes a sense of tranquility, peace, enjoyment
this is what I want to leave behind when readers come and sit awhile
here at Sharon's Lavender Courtyard.

Opps, there's no tree in the courtyard, just the sounds of waves and
the breath of grace upon your face.

If life is getting a little too blurry, or hurried
I pray you find Hope in my little mutterings...

Design credit goes to

Tell me if you like it, or why you don't, won't ya?
Thanks!

Rain Down - Delirious

2011-07-19T15:07:00.003+08:00

Experience heaven ... let it rain on your spirit as you worship

Rain Down Lyrics
Artist(Band):Delirious?

Review The Song (1)

Looks like tonight, the sky is heavy
Feels like the winds are gonna change
Beneath my feet, the earth is ready
I know its time for heaven's rain, it's gonna rain

yeah,yeah

Cos it's living water we desire
To flood our hearts with holy fire

Rain down all around the world we're singing
Rain down can you hear the earth is singing
Rain down my heart is dry but still I'm singing
Rain down, rain it down on me.

Back to the start, my heart is heavy
Feels like it's time, to dream again
I see the clouds, and yes I'm ready
To dance upon this barren land
Hope in my hands

yeah,yeah

cos it's living water we desire,
to flood our hearts with holy fire

Rain down all around the world we're singing
Rain down can you hear the earth is singing
Rain down my heart is dry but still I'm singing
Rain down.

Do not shut, Do not shut, Do not shut the heavens
But open up, open up, open up our hearts

Rain down all around the world we're singing
Rain down can you hear the earth is singing
Rain down my heart is dry but still I'm singing
Rain down.

(Rain down)
Give me strength to cross the water
Keep my heart upon Your altar
(rain down)

(rain down)
Give me strength to cross this water
Keep my feet don’t let me falter
(rain down)

Do not shut the heavens
But open up our hearts, open up our hearts

do not shut the heavens
but open up our hearts, open up our hearts.

Send "Rain Down" Ringtones to Cell

How children learn to read - Usborne

2011-07-18T16:18:00.001+08:00

Children Who Just Watch

2011-07-18T14:09:00.002+08:00

Author:
Source: National Association for the Education of Young Children

While many young children, when given the opportunity, will immediately engage in play with others, families and early childhood teachers often encounter children who want only to watch from the side. These children will watch others playing around them - constructing a towering building; reenacting a battle of dinosaurs in the sandbox; putting on a puppet show - without actually getting involved.

Family members and teachers may be anxious when preschoolers do not engage in play with other children, but this "onlooker stage of play" can be an important step in the social development of young children. It is an opportunity for young children to learn and mentally practice interacting with others. With adult guidance, they'll benefit from this thoughtful time.

In the onlooker stage, children don't physically interact, but their minds and feelings are fully engaged in the play of others. You can see it in their faces and body language. Their eyes may open wide as they see a block building growing taller, then they may dart quickly to another corner to determine the location of the growling dinosaur sounds. Their faces may break into smiles at the antics of other children pretending to be monkeys and gorillas.

Each type of play has value: in solitary play, children acquire self-knowledge; other kinds of play help them build confidence, practice interacting, and learn how to cooperate with other children. Children who go through an onlooker (or "watcher") stage get to be mentally engaged without the potential intimidation of actually being in the thick of things.

This engagement offers children opportunities to mentally manipulate what they see and hear, organizing and integrating information and storing it away for future use. The children may actually be mentally placing themselves into a situation they are observing, and testing how they might respond if they were involved.

As "watchers," children have opportunities to manipulate their cognitive experience of the behaviors of others, gaining information which will later be used within the context of their physical, verbal, emotional, and social behaviors. The use of this information is not just imitation, but a true understanding of the causes, actions, and consequences of particular behaviors - similar to the way preschoolers might use self-talk or private speech to review what they have learned about words and language. The onlooker stage offers an opportunity to watch and learn before stepping into the action.

All young children do some watching; some young children do it a lot. We now know that this is a valuable experience for children. As family members and as early childhood teachers, we are often anxious when preschoolers are not willing to engage overtly in play with other children. Perhaps we should allow them more time to watch and learn. When the time is right, they will be more comfortable and successful moving into the world of full social interaction.

Excerpted from "He's Watching! The Importance of the Onlooker Stage of Play" by Sarah Jane Anderson - an article in the NAEYC journal, Young Children.

Early Years Are Learning Years™ is a regular series from NAEYC providing tips to help parents and early childhood educators give young children a great start on learning.

http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Children_Who_Just/

Deep cries out to deep

2011-07-17T22:45:00.003+08:00

Bless you with this amazing prophetic song... go on jump into the river and dance in the presence of God... experience God's love...let Him stir up your spirit so that living water will flow out of you! experience Open Heaven!

Pslams 42:7 "Deep calls to deep, in the roar of your waterfall, all your waves and breakers have swept over me"

I've got a river of living water
A fountain that never will run dry
It's open Heavens You're releasing
And we will never be denied

Cause we're stirring up deep deep wells
We're stirring up deep deep waters
We're going to dance in the river, dance in the river

Cause we're stirring up deep deep wells
We're stirring up deep deep waters
We're going to jump in the river
Jump in the river and everybody singing now

Deep cries out to deep cries out to
Deep cries out to deep cries out to
So we cry out to, we cry out to, You Jesus

We're falling into deeper waters, calling out to You
We're walking into deeper waters, going after You

If He goes to the left then we'll go to the left
And if He goes to the right then we'll go to the right
We're going to jump jump jump jump in the river
Jump jump jump jump, everybody

If He goes to the left then we'll go to the left
And if He goes to the right then we'll go to the right
We're going to dance dance, dance dance in the river
Dance dance, dance dance, everybody

If He goes to the left then we'll go to the left
And if He goes to the left then we'll go to the right

We're going to shout shout shout shout in the river
Shout shout shout shout in the river, everybody

Grace-filled parenting

2011-07-14T23:04:00.006+08:00

I have found myself making a journey few days ago for the sole quest of seeking mercy. It was an actual 3-hour journey end to end. I was inundated with the mission the very moment I'm up from my bed. Dressing up, walking to the bus-stop, and all along the journey, there is only one thing on my heart. Seek mercy.

The story was that I was waiting to sign up for a particular class which I was so looking forward to, only to find out that I had missed the deadline and hence my registration was rejected. Not once, not twice, but three times. I knew I was not going to be accepted the first time I tried. Still, to be sure I gave my all, I tried the second and third time.

Do we know when our children has tried their best, but their best is still not good enough?

Throughout that entire journey, I had one passage in mind and one word.

The passage is about the story of a landowner who paid the SAME WAGES to the labourers who started work before 9am and those who worked from 5pm. (Matthew 20)

The word is, RECKLESS.

I knew I do not deserve it. But would I be accorded the same grace the landowner so readily dispensed?

God also showed himself dispensing reckless grace in Galations 4:4-7
⁴ But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, ⁵ to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship.^[a] ⁶ Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba,^[b] Father.” ⁷ So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir.

Not worth it. Not fair, one would say. Grace is out-of-proportioned generosity.
And while we were sinners, we were adopted to be His sons (and daughters).

Translated in our own homes, it would look like this "Even when you did something wrong, or was disrespectful, I still love you."

Families who have had 4 yr-olds and up knows that a child can display disrespect by his body language and their speech, especially if he was eloquent & expressive.

We would have to watch our tone of voice and actions so that it speaks louder than our words itself. There will be no hint of dis-owning our kids, although relatively speaking, there are times we would want to walk away from the situation so that we will not be tempted to give up/disown/abandon the child even for a temporal moment. (It happens!)

And because grace is so radically reckless, most of us don't live life that way, let alone parent that way! It would be kinda' hard when we are called to activate grace.

Reckless living requires courage. Courage comes from waiting for the Lord. Psalm 31:24 "Be strong, and let your heart take courage. All you wait for the Lord"

Most of us, parents, live from hour to hour without ever pausing to wait upon the Lord. Someone once said something to the effect, "It is in our kneel that we learn to stand in the world." If we are a full time parents, most of our 'world' would be in our homes. The sphere of culture we are called to influence would be a place in our family, our homes. How much time do we spend in God's presence?

I have a favorite saying just so I can practise God's presence in me, "Even in my rest, I give myself to God." Someone said, "Christianity is not thinking less of ourselves, it is thinking of ourselves less."

Grace works in a way that is not earned. If my child is in the midst of doing something and he spills the drink in the process, dirties the floor in the process, knocks another child's tower down accidentally, we would still praise him (his efforts). Grace is not performance-driven.

Grace is not permissive parenting. It is not saying yes to chocolate bars and lollipops and endless buffet or television watching even though our kids are not hungry, have not had their lunch or are just pure greedy or restless.

Often we use words like "Why are you so greedy?" or "Why are you so disrespectful?" or "why are you so unkind?" In doing so, we call out an identity which puts the sinner and the sin as one. It does look like we dislike the sin, as well as the sinner isn't it?

Grace (God) recognizes sins, crucifies them, but loves the sinners. Instead, we could say to our kids, "yucks! That was a spirit we don't want, let's ask God to yank it out!"
"Let's go ask God to pull this selfishness out and put in some kindness"
"Let's ask God to pull out disrespectful speech and put in some polite words."
Pull out the weeds, nurture the plant. We use the scriptures later on to reinforce the learning process as well.

Grace shows up in a thousand ways we express love, so that our kid learns to obey us, not because he is fearful of a punishment to come. He loves us and should understands the consequence of disobedience. We only need to show love as often as we can; playing, bonding, laughing, cuddling, tickling,etc. So simple, so needful.

Grace leaves room for God to deal with a child's heart and for a courageous parent to step aside and let God be God.

Sometimes, it involves throwing a banquet for a prodigal son who has squandered away his wealth and have had his share of hardship, now turned back. Do we have the courage to give grace the way our Father does to us? It is telling our toddler that the floor is slippery and yet he steps onto it and have a fall, and we take him in his arms and comfort him.

Grace assumes that the child knows right from wrong in order that he appreciates the fact he is embraced in the face of folly. (Toddlers are still learning right from wrong)

As parents of toddlers, what we don't do are as important as what we do. We must consciously reject the culture of slavish fear in the households. Rules are laws to protect us, but it does not change us. Never bribe, nor threaten. It creates fear.

Never use performance or behavioral compliance as a benchmark for which they can earn our love. Love them like crazy not because they shared their toys or clean their bikes well. Love them not how cute they are or how eloquently they spoke. Praise them for a job well done but keep relationship central to the Why's they obey. "Obey your parents in the Lord, for it is right" Ephesians 6:1

Have fun parenting!

Revelation Song

2011-07-09T16:24:00.003+08:00

Revelation song is as close as one can get to singing heavens, God and his glory. Wonderful song to bring heaven down to earth. Love praising God about him!

Disappointment

2011-07-09T15:39:00.005+08:00

I have recently experienced disappointment. Have you experienced disappointment before? And there, deep down there is sadness but once it hits bottom, there is anger and the deeper the disappointment , the greater the anger. Particularly if it was a disappointment from a person who is close.

Jesus never promised a road that is without trouble, but he says that in every trouble HE IS THERE WITH US. I find that so comforting. I find the Lord storing all our tears in the bottle meant that he cares for our pain.

The trouble is that we sometimes put our hope in a person more than we should put our hope in Christ. People will let us down. But Christ is faithful, he sees us, he knows our every move. He alone is more loving, more for us than anyone in the world. He alone would never forsake us in our weaknesses.

What people are not, Christ is. He alone is.

Put your Hope in Him. He will Never Fail you.

What's stopping you?

2011-07-05T23:36:00.003+08:00

Honestly, I have been dreaming of baking since last year. And so the hunt was on for the best oven I can get and I hunted and hunted and I almost got a Baby Belling on craiglist when someone beat me to it! And I was staying so near to the person who was selling the oven! Arghhh.. I prayed and prayed and ask God to give it to me instead, but no miracle that day.

And then 1 year flew by and I still havent got my oven. Courts sale came and gone. I was actually in the house of an avid baker and cook every Friday. I looked at his oven and his kitchen gadgets and I havent got my oven. At last, I resigned to the fact that I was just too chicken to step out to buy one.

It was that I was looking for the perfect "Baby Belling" look-a-like which was impossible to reach, and because of that bit of perfectionist streak in me, I failed to step out. (disclaimer: by the way, I found myself being most perfectionist when it comes to art, craft, project, education. Beyond which, everything is a creative mess. I'm no fun when I'm a perfectionist :( )

So one day , I heard this question, "What's stopping you?" The question was LOUD & CLEAR.
The time was now, what am I waiting for? This is the season for baking. I think it must be God. I think he delights in my baking adventures too, don't you think?

And I finally declared to my friends & family. A BREAD MAKING MACHINE IT SHALL BE. To cut the chase, I would not have to make complex decision on conventional ovens Vs microwave ovens, whether it was a glass door oven or totally enclosed, and if heat would escape etc etc. A bread machine simply, simplifies everything! Just pour and eat! WoW. Although I did look forward to kneading, I guess this would do for a start. Then, a kind friend knew about this and decides to lend me her bread machine for a season! Woots! God provides! Of course, my dream machine would have to be Zojirushi Bread Machine. What is stopping me?

And my head went swirling with all kinds of freshly baked bread tied with beautiful silk ribbons, in various wonderful packaging. I would so love to gift a bread I make (well, almost) to someone. And oh... how could I forget the wonderful aroma of freshly baked bread in my home. hmmmm..

Are you trying something new this season? Does something look too complex or too big for you? Then perhaps you could take comfort that sometimes it just takes a simple question "What is stopping you?" to have all the answers you really need. Kudos to your new adventure!

"grrrr... I'm hungry!"

some of my favorite bread-making sites:
Bread experience
Healthy picnics
Artisan Bread in Five
The Fresh Loaf
Healthy Refuge
Super healthy kids
Delishia
Cooking Bread

Jesus Culture - Sing my Love

2011-06-26T00:07:00.003+08:00

If I could have my way, I would praise-pray-dance-praise-pray-dance all day! Cuz I simply can't hold back my love back to you... Oh, this is the feelin' in my tummy, upon my feet... SO, this would be the opening song for "Praise OPENS Heaven" topic! New, All New!!! And I'm excited, because more gorgeous songs is coming our way. It is my hope that you, my dear friends would be able to pour forth extravagant praise such that it touches God's heart and experience a OPEN HEAVEN in Your life!!!

ENjoy!

(Intro)
Words can never say the way he says my name
He calls me lovely
No one every sees the way he looks at me
He sees me holy
Words can never hold this love that burns my soul
Heaven holds me
Oh, heaven holds me

(Chorus)
Can't hold my love back in you
Can't hold my love back in you
I've gotta sing
I've gotta sing
Sing my love
To you Jesus yeah

(Verse 2)
You will not believe the way he touches me
He burns right through me
And I could not forget every word he said
He always knew me
Earth could never hold this love that burns my soul
Heaven holds me
Oh, heaven holds me
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

(Chorus)

(Verse 2)

(Chorus)x2

Oh, nothings gonna stand in the way
Nothing can get in the way of the love tonight

Can't hold my praise back in you
Can't hold my praise back in you
I've gotta shout
I've gotta shout
Shout my praise

Praise the Lord
Praise the Lord
My Soul makes
Makes its vows in the Lord

Prince or Pauper?

2011-06-23T16:46:00.003+08:00

Are you a prince or pauper?

Our identity in Christ is a simple thing to the mind. We know in our head that we are sons and daughters, and we inherit everything God would have for us, yet many of us live in contrary to what we think we know!

Just imagine if we are the royal Prince William or Kate Middleton of England. How would we live our lives?

Our identities has an impact on our sphere of influence; at the marketplace, our homes, our mission fields and more. It would matter if we are wives, or a boss, or an employee. It would matter if we are at the cross-road, handling in a crisis, or in health. Our identities matters.

Get a more-than-conquerors mindset! Get a royalty mindset. It would impact the way we parent. ( I just had to specially mention this since this is my key sphere of influence!)

Take this test by Kris Vallotton's ministry to find out!

http://www.kvministries.com/prince-pauper-test

Fathers are made to be courageous

2011-06-14T23:45:00.003+08:00

ABOUT COURAGEOUS, THE FILM AND THE SONG

The Film: Courageous, the new action-packed movie from the creators of Fireproof, is a powerful reminder of the impact fathers have on their kids…and the legacy they will leave for future generations. Courageous: In Theaters September 30.

The Song: Multi-Platinum, Grammy Award-winning artist Casting Crowns wrote and recorded a song by the same title, "Courageous," that will be featured in the film, and appear on the band's upcoming album, Come To The Well, available everywhere October 18.

http://www.courageousthemovie.com/

Guilt-based parenting

2011-06-14T22:14:00.003+08:00

It is common to hear people from this part of the world where I lived, say things like "I don't have enough time" more than "I don't have enough money".

For many of us, work, housework, careers or even ministry has seeped into our lives and found ways to justify itself worthy as an occupation.

The truth is that many of us has confused pre-occupation with occupation. 'I'm busy' is the reason given for not being lazy, when the truth of "not doing anything" actually keeps most of us anxious.

I have found that men of the modern, developed society loves to glorify in their own flesh. The old habit that "I have done it myself" - dependent-on-self mentality or "I am doing it for someone" - martyrdom mentality creeps into the lives of people, knowingly or unknowingly. Whether we are Christ-followers or not Christ-followers, no one can run on the empty. No one can give what they had not receive. By the same token, one would naturally give what he has received.

Guilt works this way. First it makes you feel that you are not good enough, then it further blinds you to make you think that you can do something else to compensate it. It is the old habit that started in the Garden of Eden. When Adam & Eve ate the forbidden fruit, they felt shame and guilt. They were in fact exposed. So they took leaves from the tress to cover themselves up and make themselves look good, in other words, they took a substitute to compensate their lack.

Have we seen how guilt creeps itself into the way we parent? When both parents work from 9 till 5pm (and I am being conservative with the hours), they literally only have 4 hours per day with the family and kids and possibly 10hours more in the weekends. We work with the assumption that ALL parents love their kids to bits and love spending time with them. Is it any wonder why we see how families look like that are SO consumed with their kids after work hours? Is it any wonder why we see families looking only inward after office hours?

Being consumed IN the wrong thing is scary because it literally dumps us into a barrel of murky water, till we can't see clearly. We begin to work harder in our flesh to buy into the lies that we can compensate it. We get substitutes for the real thing, and this is how it looks like. We begin to buy lots of toys and send kids to various enrichment classes and all kinds of activities. When in actual fact, all we wanted to do is to show love. (Not that toys, or enrichment classes and activities are wrong, but to think we can use it to substitue for the lack of time we are spending with our kids is, and it can often come in the guise of "it is not a bad thing afterall")

The lies could exposed themselves when a toy is mis-handled or when a child does badly, or does not flourish in whichever enrichment or activity they are in. We hear disappointed parents say "I spend so much money for you to do this and yet you can't learn, or yet you behaved so badly!"

Since when is spending more money upon a child or their performance for that matter, a guaranteed exchange for the 'love' we show them, when all we do is to send them further from us. Guilt begets guilt.

The key to identify guilt-based parenting is to ask ourselves a few questions:
- Have we been too eager to please our child?
- Have I not been able to cultivate a hobby or perhaps be able to contribute to the society because of kids?
- When was the last time we did something without our kids and actually enjoyed it?
- When was the last time I dated my spouse (without kids of course)
- Do we find ourselves always having to sacrifice for our kids?

If we find ourselves always having to sacrifice and please our child, then we are showing signs of trying to compensate for something. If we had not been able to be away from our kids to do things that we like or found anything we like to do without the kids, we are showing signs of trying to compensate for something.

When we begin to let a pre-occupation dictate our lives, our time and our resources, we have given controls over to the very thing which would bind us. Our job, our work, housework and ministry are really only a fraction of our lives. When we get things in the wrong order, we buy into a culture of counterfeits. Because we are guilty we spend too much time outside of family, we begin to DO more than necessary for our kids.

Before long, we would crash and burn out. Running high on Hope and then down to the dumps with disappointment. The good news is, running on the empty was never the creator's intention and there is a better way.

Next post: How to be released into grace-filled parenting which parents are created for.

Food for thought (Education) : Turkey or Crow

2011-06-10T17:06:00.004+08:00

Is there a tension between innovativeness or perfect grades (hard-wire response) in education?

Turkey skills - Turkey skills are described as basic or rote skills, learnt and practised until we can perform like experts. Skills are applied quickly, logically and automatically. It has a place in the society but is it the key to everything? Is this the gold standard for achievement and gatekeepers for advancement?

Crow skills - Crow skills are described as problem-solving in non linear ways, innovativeness, and creativity, responses that require various parts of the brain.

Today most kids focus on video gaming rather then creative play! Do you think this is crow skills or turkey skills?

Which skills are you honing in for yourselves and your children?

Healer for our kids!

2011-06-07T23:38:00.004+08:00

I am in an air-conditioned room and it becomes hot, no the air-conditioned is working alright. I felt my hair standing on ends as I stretched my hands out heavenwards.

Which mother are not acquainted with sick child/children? I just had one with me for 3 days.
My little 2 yr-old otter, usually active, would be a sickly little puppy when his temperature goes up to 39 degrees as he lean on me.

I would learn that when kids fall ill, our hearts ache. Despite medicine and what we know, we still don't see improvement. It is such that we need to know that we are finite. finite. finite. We may know about our kids, but we still don't know everything there is to know! Isnt that true??

Yet, it is so easy to be defeated, exhausted, disappointed. I know because I go through it.

But I would learn that as soon as we detect the negative, the naysayers, the fact-finders, it is time to draw our swords! Scripture calls Jesus our Healer. Scripture says we are more than conquerors, scripture say that we have within us the spirit that can heal, deliver, resurrect! The promises of God are yes and amen! (2 cor 1:20)

Its time to let our little minds go under the power of Holy Spirit. Stand up, wield the sword of the Spirit and cast away that which makes us disbelief. Call forth Open Heavens and ask of the Lord!

When I talked about a heated room, it is not about me , nor the air-conditioned room, it is the visitation of the Lord himself. Release his presence upon our child, upon our family, make all things new. Press in, never give in, never give up. Call Upon Jesus Christ, our Healer. He has come. It is time to rejoice.

victory stories in a mum's life!

2011-06-03T00:21:00.003+08:00

Something that made me extremely happy and blessed is when someone experiences victory in his/her life.

As a stay home mum, it is so easy to get drown by the mundane chores and not see what the King sees. I see home as a Palace court. When Moses was plucked out from the waters (River), sister Miriam ran to get a mid-wife for the baby Moses who "happens" (Is there any coincidences??) to be Moses's mother. She was PERFECT for baby Moses, not for any qualifications she has or don't possess. She was THE perfect carer, simply because she IS the Baby's mother!!! Have you thought about how priviledged that was? How honourable was it for God's chosen servant? The worthy most humble Moses was cared for by HIS own mother!

Today, You are the chosen Mother for your child. Do you know that nothing you do or have done will make you more or less qualified than you already are. No matter how many degrees would make you over qualified, neither does the un-schooled are under qualified. Isn't that liberating?

I learnt that when we start to give thanks in the palace court that God has given us, we began to clothe our spirits with the protection of God. Praise helps to detract deceptions in our lives, because we acknowledge God's providence for us, and because of that, there is no lack, no discouragements, no defeat.

keeping stock of victories helps focus our eyes on our victory-giver. We are the bearer of his victory blessings. if you are not seeing victory, or seeing too little victories in your life as a mother, make this your prayer today, say to the Lord, "Keep it coming Lord, keep it coming Lord, more victories, so you name could be lifted high. Thank you Lord!"

I love these victory points that my dear friend, Dee shared with me. And she has so kindly given me the permission to share this here.

1. Dot gives her little teddy to another baby. She is learning to share at this young age.
2. Dot can speak a lot of words, more than 20 words, now even difficult words like caterpillar, elephant.
3. Dot can run around easily without panting..cos she walks probably at around 1K every day.
4. She says bye to almost every person after she leaves or someone leaves the lift.
5. She loves reading or loves to have us read to her.
6. She said "Amen" after every prayer I make. I pray for her every day, almost everytime I breastfeed her.
7. She enjoys playing with other children and does not snatch other people's toy.
8. I am still breastfeeding her.
9. She is a happy and healthy baby.

Bless you, Dee! May you soar from one mountain after another mountain with God. ;)

First day in school!!

2011-06-02T23:36:00.005+08:00

Not my kids, but for me! First day of school , daddy gave me a gift. Nope, it was a gift that was given a week ago, but it would be a gift that would be opened in school.

Through God's miraculous providence, I was able to attend school in this season of being a full time mum!!! How cool is that??? I thot God was cool and my husband was cool and my mum was cool, because all of them were in this WITH me!

my boys were taken to the kindy which my mum taught and spent the morning there, playing while daddy would take the afternoon off to work from home while caring for them. So there you go, stay-home-daddy for a season! Woots!! Cool daddy of world! :))

So, first day of school @ School of Supernatural Ministry! (Woo hooo - my dream school!) Keith Ferrante would release words of prophecy over people he felt led to in the class. And with each prophecy that was being released, i would suddenly feel the great love of God upon that person. Tears would gush out and I thot it would stop, but it didn't, my heart felt the great great love of God, for EVERY prophecy that he would release on different people. In the end, I was just so overwhelmed with the Love of God for all the people that my tears were pouring forth so much. God then used those moments to so gently teach me to love his people and understand his love, all the while experience his love for his people. God's love is so large & magnificent, that it cannot be contained in a human being.

Afterwards, A song "daddy's proud of you" was being played and I hear God telling me he loved me, not to my mind, because I already knew that, but to my heart! Oh, God would pour out his love for me and tell me that he is proud of me. I was So so touched, by then a dam has broken out and I cried and cried like I was going to flood the room. And then, I was transformed. My identity was made whole. Oh, that was freedom for me.

Subsequent sessions in the later day, we were doing prophetic activation under the another teacher, Elaine Eleazer and I found myself used as a vessel to release words of prophecies to one, and to another, and to another! People were crying, people were encouraged, but I was so so blessed in returned! Prophecy releases LOVE into another person's lives and build them up! I remember God called me to be a builder and I am So in love with this amazing new gift God has given me.

I wanted to thank the Lord for breaking a mindset that only certain people of certain spirituality could receive this gift. But the Lord would say, just covert it, with no conditions bound to it. What God does is instead of do this, do that and then you can do this and that, is that he pours forth his mighty love and grace. In receiving his love and amazing grace, we are set free to do his will and will not be compelled to do what will grieve him. It becomes as natural as that.

There is simply no striving, no working out in the flesh as we operate in his gift. I find that super super liberating. And for that split second I was walking on clouds!! I was so so excited.

I began to remember when God called me to a dance in my dreams. My loving Father in heaven so wants to set me free, he so wants me to dance. I began to remember the times I would praise and worship him once my boys falls asleep at night and the hunger pangs that would set in my spirit, and I would want to fly into heaven with him. I would remember the times when I see illness in my family, or myself or in others and think, there ought to be a better way. I would remember the burden I feel for people who are walking around with a form of godliness, yet without the power and I would say, there ought to be a better way. I long to see restoration, powerful victorious living, people set free, healing, God's love poured down abundantly.

And God would honour that little pockets of thoughts I had in private (but now not so anymore i guess!) and take me along this Journey. As Elaine taught, it is easy to receive the gift, but we would need time to let it mature. I pray that the Lord would really prune and shape me in his own image. I am made powerful in him, released to be a greater blessing to others!

Ps: What I experienced, you can have it too. You can see miracles happening in your daily lives, if you would believed. Supernaturally natural, and naturally supernatural. It is a lifestyle!

Matthew 5:6 "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled."

Col 2: 10 "and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority"

John 14: 12 tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.

Glory glory glory to him!

I am a mommy and I have a life!

2011-05-24T22:29:00.007+08:00

I am a stay-home-mum to two cheeky & very chatty boys, but I am also an individual, a child of God, my mother's daughter, a King's child and very much in love with my maker, my husband, my kids & my friends.

Recently I heard of a man who told of a trip he made. In his book, from Darkness to glorious Light, he details his encounter with heaven. He died physically and was taken to heaven where he was met by God personally. He was given a tour around this place where there were many mansions in the garden full of flowers and the street was golden and shone and were transparent. There were crowns with names written on it for the very happy people who lived there. Thereafter he was given a task to tell everyone about God and he came back to life.

My heart was so excited as I hear that. I so look forward to that crown of righteousness that God promised in 1 Cor 9:25 "Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever."

What does 'strict training' means? would that be a phrase which many prefer not to hear about? Does that speak of lots of restrictions, or denial of pleasure and the likes?

The New American Standard Bible (©1995)
says, "Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable."

James 1:12 Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

2 Timothy 2:5 Similarly, if anyone competes as an athlete, he does not receive the victor's crown unless he competes according to the rules.

Gills's exposition would read like this:

"And every man that striveth for the mastery,.... Either in running a race, or in wrestling; for the word here used agrees with both, and both are in the context referred to, nor has the apostle as yet done with his allusion to running in a race;

is temperate in all things; contains himself from venery, abstains from certain sorts of food, which tend to hinder the agility, or weaken the strength of the body; and indulges not himself in sloth and idleness, but exercises himself in various manners, that he may be prepared for running or wrestling: the apostle's view in this, seems to be to strengthen some exhortations he had already given, to abstain from fornication, and the immoderate use of venery; to forbear eating things offered to idols, and not give themselves up to luxury and intemperance; for should they be overcharged with surfeiting and drunkenness, and the cares of this life, they would be very unfit for their Christian race, or for wrestling with principalities and powers, and the discharging of the business of a Christian profession:

now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; they confine themselves to a certain diet and course of living, and abstain from things otherwise desirable to nature; and this they do for the sake of a fading crown, a crown of leaves, made of the boughs and leaves of olives, laurels, pine, &c. or of parsley, green or dried, as before observed (t):

but we an incorruptible; even eternal life; compared to a crown, for the riches, glory, and lustre of it; and as suitable to the character and dignity of saints, who are kings as well as priests unto God: it is called "incorruptible", because it is so in its own nature; nor can it be corrupted by other things, as crowns even of gold may; nor shall any corrupt person wear it; the corruption of nature must be removed from the saints, yea, that frailty and mortality of human nature, which sometimes goes by the name of corruption, must be taken away, ere they can inherit this crown and kingdom; nor will it ever fade away, as the corruptible crowns of the conquerors in these games did, and that in a very short time; but this will last for ever, and always continue in the same glory and lustre."

I love it that there are clear guidelines what we can do to live our life.

First and foremost, I am called to be a child of God. That just really means I listen to him and do what he says. In a day of a stay-home-mum, I had given myself to raise my child in the ways of him. Everything I do, I try to work in that direction. When I was working in a marketplace, I give myself to honour him in all that I do. I ask for a clear and sound mind so that I can always have integrity, sound strategies, creative ideas and to give my best shot in all that I do. As a mum, a full-time job, I give myself no less than I gave before. Because all I do, I do unto my Father in Heaven.

I live in Asia, a place where consumerism is rampant. I believe that with it comes greed and vanity, discontentment and spirit of haughtiness. We don't fight flesh and blood, but most certainly powers and principalities. So when I go shopping, I buy what I need, not what I can to show off. I am mindful not to be addicted with bags and shoes and all things that look really pretty to the eyes, but really only covers the soul with vanity and greed.

Do I have any favourite things? Yes! I love flowers and having tea with friends. I love good food and a good ambience, so I do it once in a blue moon, least I become a glutton. One too many plates of escargot or steak, or whatever takes our fancy can turned us into greedy monster before we know it.

With the 'strict training' that scripture teaches us, we do things in moderation. Self-control and temperate is a needful discipline. Just because I have more freedom and flexibility of time on hands, I am not to squander it off and buy crowns that are pleasurable for the moment , but have no eternal value.

Do I have a hobby? Yes I do, I love to worship and play my keyboard, or read a book, or chat with friends. How much time I spend on it, depends on what my priority is and my intention that must be aligned with what God wants. I chat not to pass time, I chat to discern the needs of my friends and to build them up in the Lord. I read, not to pass time, I do it to enrich myself so that I can build my children up, as well as to share the knowledge. I worship , not to pass time, but to strengthen my inner man and so as to hear God better and be love by him.

This is my life and I love it. I can do all things, but I am not mastered by anything. True freedom!

Friends, if you are a mum, tell us how you live your life!

God can help you overcome

2011-05-22T23:09:00.004+08:00

This is our God

There are things that catches us when we least expected, and sometimes we get embroiled by it.

We are surprised by ourselves. Yet God is not.

He is our overcomer, his grace is enough to help us overcome. We only need to fall into his embrace. He loves us, he will set us free.

Be it a vacuum in our hearts, or hunger, or helplessness. Only God can fill it. Nothing of the world, even the best drama serials on TV can fill it to the brim. Let God restore you.

A comfortable life or a powerful life

2011-05-16T21:59:00.008+08:00

We don't spend enough time with the word of God. By that, I mean well-meaning followers of Christ who know the word, but never invested enough time to get it into our spirit man.

Few years ago, I was struggling to memorise Ephesians 3:20 King James Bible "Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us," I was very excited about this verse, yet I would struggled to remember the words. So tried as I did, I copied it on my yellow post-it pad and stuck it on the computer where I was working on. I tried to meditate it everyday for a week. I seldom get the exact words right, often having the (bad) habit to substitute with synonyms of sort. I wasn't quite happy with that obviously, because it could potentially dilute an intended meaning. But I would keep trying, every word that God spoke, I wrote and kept it in my heart. I would try and try again as I would to keep the words to its original translation.

It is hard work truly. But the word of God, through considerable practice can be felt so gentle yet so powerfully working in our spirit. That is when we know and we know that his word is made ALIVE in us. HIS words carry the power when we speak. We become the vessel who can bring life to others, and those who hears us.

This is power living.

I was not contented with living a comfortable life. A life that consist of food to eat, clothes to wear, a roof over my head and perhaps in the modern terms, holidaying in exotic places. I wanted a life infused with the power of the living God in me.

Is a comfortable life without storms? Many people strive for comfort and sadly Christ followers too stay stuck in a comfortable life. John 10:10 "Abundant life" has too often been misunderstood as a comfortable life. An abundant life is a life that exceeds mere happiness.

Bible Commenter
and that they might have it more abundantly; or, as the Syriac version reads, "something more abundant"; that is, than life; meaning not merely than the life of wicked men, whose blessings are curses to them; or than their own life, only in the present state of things; or than long life promised under the law to the observers of it; but even than the life Adam had in innocence, which was but a natural and moral, not a spiritual life, or that life which is hid with Christ in God; and also than that which angels live in heaven, which is the life of servants, and not of sons: or else the sense is, that Christ came that his people might have eternal life, with more abundant evidence of it than was under the former dispensation, and have stronger faith in it, and a more lively hope of it: or, as the words may be rendered, "and that they might have an abundance": besides life, might have an abundance of grace from Christ, all spiritual blessings in him now, and all fullness of joy, glory, and happiness hereafter.

A powerful life is not one without storms as evidence in Paul's life. I admire him. Seriously, I don't think I have his kind of guts. Check out his 5-star sea holiday package (Acts 27). But I sure admire his total abandonment in Jesus, hence his life although endangered was worth less than life itself. (Acts 20:24 For I do not count my life of any value to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the good news of God's grace.)

But life as it would present itself to be fraught with some highs and some lows, inevidently, some mountain top experiences and some valley lows. There is no exclusion. People everywhere desire to preserve comfort, they want to stay forever in their comfort zone. Even Kings have bad days, and beggers under the bridge would have their share of good days.

God can work through you and me in ways that are exceeding abundantly ABOVE all that we ask and think. “exceeding abundantly” is the Greek “huper-ek-perissos” which means superabundantly. More than we need. More than we can even think or dream about. (Vines Dictionary)

The word “exceeding” comes from the Greek preposition #5228 “huper” which means over and beyond, superior to, and more than is required. It is used in compound words throughout the New Testament to express God’s excessive benevolence towards His children.

I like what I discover. But happier than that, is that these are lavished upon us. It is ours. :)

Do you like to enter a room with gifts filled from the floor to the ceiling and know that they are yours? Do you like to know that someone has prepared a spread of gourmet food, or a huge garden full of flowers all for you to enjoy?

Excessive is defined as that which goes far beyond the usual, to be extraordinary, exorbitant, extravagant, overabundant, and too much.

The word “power” comes from the Greek #1411 “dunamis” which means inherent power and ability, and consistently refers to the miraculous power and anointing that flowed in Jesus ministry.

God fuels our lives through his word, visions & dreams. I was worshipping him one day when I saw a vision of his holiness among his worshippers. I asked his glory to touch my mouth. I was having ulcers and immediately the next day, I sensed healing.

I could no longer confine God to move in the ordinary spheres of mankind. The work that I do parenting, mentoring, organising activities, music - these are but natural skills sanctified. But God is a powerful God that moves where he likes... to heal (physical, emotional, mental), to restore (relationships, finances, destinies etc) to raise the dead, to make people powerful though him.

In Powerful living there is no striving. There is a sense of freedom and liberation that comes with power living. It is the anointing that God sets upon his people. And it is a gift to be received just like how we have first received God into our lives the day we made him our King, our leader and our saviour.

Have we stopped receiving him into our lives?

I don't mean to stop giving ourselves to honing our skills, but to give a semblance of godliness without its power is something we need recognise. We need to know that this is all men and none of God. We cannot give praise to God, for which that does not begin with him. So many of us doers, want more, bigger, fancier, more sophisticated stuff, being well motivated and encouraged with results, we forgot that God is the miracle worker at the front-of-stage and not at the back-stage.

We become so self-conscious, we lost our God-consciousness. We become so familiar with the workings of men, that we cannot recognise God when he does something different. Woe to us, we cannot even recognise Jesus when he is walking beside us at the road of Emmaus. Believers can be caught in such a situation! (Luke 24:13-35)

We cannot give, that which we have not received. God wants to give us exceeding, abundantly, above all that we think or ask. Have we stopped receiving?

We cannot pretend darkness is not present.

Ephesians 6:12 - For our struggles is not against enemies of blood and flesh, but against rulers, against authorities, against cosmic powers of this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.
Like it or not, we all struggle to varying degrees. Be it an irresponsibility on our part or something outside of our influence, we can and must take up the offense against which does not come from God! Do we have undue or irrational sadness, anger, fear, worries, dislike, critical, agitation, sickness, fatigue, stress? Fear can set on on in so many ways - fear of being out of control, fear of people, fear of others' opinion on us, fear of not fitting in etc. We live in a nation of fear.

Buy gold, not fear. God has something much better.

New International Version (©1984)
Rev 3:18 I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see.

1. The word "counsel" means to take counsel together, give advice, deliberate. There is only one market from which you can buy the goods Jesus offers –"from Me." The Laodiceans do not have to run to the malls of wealth in Laodicea to obtain satisfaction.

Jesus wants to do business with the Laodiceans. First, He counsels them "to buy" a certain kind of "gold," a "refined" gold of character that comes from the fires of testing. This is not a monetary transaction but a spiritual transaction, a spiritual transaction in exchange for a quality of life.

2. Secondly, Jesus not only wants the Laodiceans to buy gold but He wants them to purchase "white garments" from Him. If they do this, they will not expose their nakedness to others and they will not be ashamed. Laodiceans were famous for their glossy black goat’s wool. Ignominy always comes from sin. We will not disgrace ourselves with our sin if we enter into transaction with the Lord Jesus. With clothes that Jesus gives them, they will carry a sense of modesty. This will save us a lot of pain from our disgraceful acts, from exposure while sinning. Jesus saves from behavior that brings embarrassment. These Christians will not hide their face in shame.

3.The third thing that Jesus wants the church to buy is an "eye salve" that allows us to see spiritually. There was a famous medical school at Laodicea. This "eye salve" was a Phygian powder used by oculists at the temple of Asclepius. They did not need to go to occultists; they only need to go to Jesus. If we use Jesus’ salve, we will acquire true knowledge of our spiritual condition and we will see the claims of Christ to correct that condition. We need to open our eyes to spiritual truth.

(source: verse by verse commentary)

Issiah 55:1 "Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost.

Power living is available to those who hunger and thirst.

Sensing Power

New International Version (©1984)
Matt 22:37 Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'

Many of us sense and feel worldly sensation. We cry at Korean dramas, and laugh at comedies, yet so few of us cry when God's love overcome us or laugh when God gives us a treat.

We feel injustice when kittens are tortured but do not speak kindly when the world needs us to be salt and light.

We fall sick and sense our weakness overbearing on us physically and emotionally, but do not even recognise the power of God living and active within us.

When will we ever wake up to the fact that we have turned our sensuality over to the world?

Some of us love God with our mind, neglecting our soul. Some of us love God with our soul, neglecting our heart. Neither is complete.

God wants all of our heart, our mind and our soul.

Today, let God open our spiritual senses. Let us be so consumed by him that we are infused by him, spirit, soul, mind and our heart. Choose to live powerful lives.

Teaching your child to ride a bike?

2011-05-10T14:44:00.006+08:00

(Elias learning to balance on his balance bike)

Question: How to teach a child to ride a bike?
Answer: No teaching necessary!

We have found an absolutely fun way to let kids self-learn how to bike. We only need to cheer them on. :)

When KB was about 3 yr-old, we decide to let him try on a bike. We did some research and found ibike which details how kids learn.

Most of us make the mistake of putting them on a bike that is one or two size too big for them. Thinking that they will eventually grow into it. What we inadvertently did was to let them learn to 'pedal'. However, as with most case, because the bike was so much bigger than the child, the poor small child would have to struggle against his ability to pedal.

The duration a child takes to a bike, will eventually depends on how much bigger the bike is, or how strong a child is. However, the issue is never about how quick, but how motivated the child is in learning a new thing.

Training wheels assumes all kids have to learn to first pedal before balancing. The problem is that once they learn how to pedal, they have also learnt to rely on the training wheels.

When we remove the training wheels, arduous effort on the part of parents would be needed to push and help them move the bike before they are able to ride it 'effortlessly'. We are again also assuming that the duration a child to learn to ride will depend on how young or small, or how agile a child is.

I remember having my first two-wheeler when I was 6 yr-old. Being a pretty active 6 yr-old, first borne ,I learnt to ride my bike in just a day, according to my mum. Like most things a child needs to learn, sometimes, earlier is not always better.

Even though weeride bike was kinda small for KB, then 3 yr-old boy, he took to the bike almost immediately. What was good was that he was able to handle his bike himself. He pushed it to the playground himself, with mummy by his side, and brought it home himself, all the time mummy was relatively quite relaxed.

After about 2 or 3 days of straddling, he was zooming around. He was 3, not specially gifted in the area of agility or large motor skills, but he was doing well. He was motivated, very excited and he kept trying by himself. Talk about being self-motivated in overcoming challenges.

Then we had our second son. He was the man in action. Of course, what he had, big brother did not. Little brother had a exemplary model to follow. So unbeknown to us, when he was about 2yrs and 5moths old, he got up to kor Kor's balance bike. And began playing it at home. He was tip-toeing on his bike and even so, he did not care. He lowered the seat for him so that both his feet was flat on the ground when he stood up.

So we figured, it is time to move the big brother on. Since we started them on a balance bikes, the approach was that they first learn to balance, then pedal. We really don't need training wheels. And we needed a bike that was just the right size, not a size bigger for him. We had the shop take off the training wheels and bought the bike.

The principle was that he could immediately get up on the bike and learn to pedal, since he has already learnt balancing on a balance bike, quite naturally. Again, ibike details how we can go about choosing the right bike.

We got KB a two-wheeler on his 4th birthday from rodalink.

within 15 minutes of being on his bike, he was able to pedal. In the next couple of days, he was seen riding and enjoying his two-wheeler much to my surprise.

I learnt that goals of what a child learn and approach in which they are taking is far more important than just going through the process simply because everyone else is doing it. Now, just as I though we can all go riding in a park, together with our 2 yr-old...

(KB already riding his two-wheeler)

hmmm... I forgot, actually it would be daddy's turn to learn to ride... !
But I'm sure he would do far better than anyone of us by now. :)

Confession

2011-05-03T15:39:00.005+08:00

Sometimes through so much busyness in life, we forget why we are doing what we are doing.

It is nice to slow down ... I am thankful I am never in a big rush to complete a deadline or feel compelled to 'keep busy'. This could be the deadliest trap to keep us from allowing God into our lives. God's voice is a small still voice. We've gotto let him have free reign over our lives.

Someone asked me why I have time to blog or prepare so much educational materials for my boys, or take my boys for outings, or attends conference or most recently organise contest and give freebies away! (My husband says I am spending too much time on fun things!)

Why I do what I do? My simple answer is that I am created to be a blessing. In whatever and however limitation or abundance that I have, I give because He (God) first gave. I enjoy my life immensely.

My interest however is varied. It is too trivial to list it all out. I enjoy challenges and I am not for status quo. I like to follow where the holy spirit goes, because one day in the house is better than a thousand elsewhere. I also enjoy peace and friendship, a cuppa anytime and a prayer for someone for breakthroughs. I love rejoicing where Christ has gain victory.

What I love?
I love people. God uses people to accomplish his Kingdom mission. God love people so much he restores us to our destiny. Being a SAHM gives me time to meet with people when my kids nap, or nap when my kids nap. :) I also meet people online. Who says I have no social life! haha .. ;)

I love praise & worship Sometimes I share a song I love, sometimes I share how a song changes or ministered to me. I love God's music.

I also love parenting - 4 years ago, I would have just blogged about life in general. Today, parenting topics takes up a major bulk of my blog posts. I see many parallel being a parent and a disciple-maker. Also I saw how the ideologies of the world seeped into families to rob people of the original blessing of a family, so I want to be part of the restoration work. A builder, perhaps.

I also love to move in the supernatural. No, this is no hocus pocus fairy dust I am talking about. I yearn to move like the twelve apostles, spreading the gospel, healing the sick, raising the dead, casting out demons. And like anything we are new in, there is fear. But herewith, we have to step out and exercise our faith. The time has come for such a time as this. Indeed, when we do, then we will see breakthroughs. I yearn to live powerful lives together with my family. Naturally, supernatural.

Where does my husband fit in?
My husband is the head of the household, I exist to be a helpmate (hopefully, despite my shortcomings!). He love the word of God. He may not like it if I call him a walking Bible, but he is to me. I have such short memory. I had to memorise the word by writing lines! My husband just reads it and he got it all in there. He supports all that I do, and I support him. We both move in different giftings.

So what shipwrecked situations can I share?
Surely I do! I hate getting sick! After giving birth to my second boy, my body become weak. Each year I gave birth, I would be admitted to the hospital for some reason.

The first was a surgery to remove my ovary because a cyst broke in there.

The second was for bronchitis and penuemonia resulting in Asthma. I like it that I have a choice to believe the doctor's report or the report book of the word of God. Similarly, my elder boy would also had the tendency to fall sick often, that is why I battle in prayer. Often I battle inside my prayer closet and perhaps that is where it all started. I still hate falling sick. I hate sickness. And I hate how sickness has crippled others.

We have a choice to turn a shipwrecked situation for God's glory or be sunken with the ship.

I do appreciate ...
a helping hand anytime... anyone committed to the work of restoration work, moving in power, not just in works

I don't have time for ...
slanderers, apathy , pity-parties

What I am not good at ...
well, my grammer on the blog is atrocious!! Even I can't stand it! can't cook, can't bake (anyone willing to teach me?), scared to drive (live to be driven?), can't jog (have web feet), can't stop talking (somebody stop me!!!!)

Leading kids into the presence of God

2011-05-01T23:16:00.025+08:00

I love worship sessions and the tangible presence of God felt so strongly during those sessions. The easiest way to bring young children into the presence of God, is also during worship.

Right from the time when my boys are still in my womb, I like to expose my children to sounds of worship. As babies, I would take them with us whenever we worship, whether it be us worshipping at home, or participating in congregational worship. Our heavenly Father longs to commune with the kids, he longs to speak with them no matter how young they are or how young they themselves think they are. My older tot loves to watch how musicians prepare themselves and he also love various instruments, just the way it looked and sounded intrigued him. My younger tot generally likes dancing and moving to the beat of the music. Every child love music, they just respond to it differently. But Praise & Worship is more than just music.

I attended iSow (international school of worship) workshop in Singapore some months back and like to share some notes which can help us as a parent-teachers or as a sunday school teachers help our kids enter the presence of God. Lord forbid we enter a worship session that looks like mere singing session but powerful worship that gives victory. :) Won't we all like that?

I have heard this emphasis more than once. We are created spirit, soul & flesh. Matt 22: 37 'Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'

1) Hence we teach children to wake their flesh (bodies) up by jumping and in action even though the spirit is 'asleep'. Physical actions causes a heart connection.
How many times we have found ourselves in a place where our hearts are willing, but our flesh is weak. Shake up the flesh and make it obedient to the Holy spirit.

2) Teach children how to hear from the holy spirit and praise God.

- I do this at home by letting both my boys lie down on the floor and getting them to close their eyes. Then I encourage them to hear from God. I often uses worship songs so that it soothes the spirit and helps them keep their focus on God. I would play the keyboard and sometimes sing or let the holy spirit guide me, sometimes I don't sing, I let the music minister. My older tot would tell me often what God says to him. (Practise makes perfect, getting it 'wrong' is just another step forward. keep encouraging them to listen.) As a new mother 4 years ago, I had to 'learn' to listen to the cries of my baby to distinguish the difference. At first, I made mistakes, I made wrong assumptions, but over time as I keep 'tuning in' and keep learning to hear, it didn't take long before I understand what each cry represents!

- We could play a song (on an instrument or on CD) and let the children express themselves through drawings. Young children expresses themselves in different ways, through drawing, through dancing & movements, through words etc. Find out what your child is comfortable doing and nurture them. Remember to look at the expressions and talk through it. It could be that the expressions reflects what they think of/feel or what they think God is speaking to them about. Keep practising!

3) Praise don't always have to be fast! it is intense, focus, victorious. Often loud, its is powerful, strong, exhuberant, full of victory! The song talks about who God is, and what he has done. it is a proclamation.
If you are a worshipper (And it really helps! If not, practise being one, we could ask God for a new song, or keep worshipping, a song will come to us , old or new, don't worry about it. The key is to be able to usher your child into the presence of God. As we practise, we enter his presence quicker and easier. Use an instrument or CD, or pray over scriptures)

4) Presence of God instills security, faith, hope, love.
Some children come into sunday school classes or starts the day with anxiety, insecurity, or hunger! Sunday School may start so early some don't have time for breakfast. If you are ministering in a different culture, or different groups of children, learn to discern and minister through praise & worship accordingly.

5) Miracles happens - Where the presence of God is, healing comes. Kids needs healing too. God longs to heal, not just the physical ailments, but he removes burdens and restore confidence. Fears are common to children, because of the lack of experience, knowledge and understanding, very young children are also developmentally unable to verbalise it. Be sensitive to the move of Holy Spirit. Our role is to get the children to recieve the love of God.

What we do at home - and you can too!

* Incorporate worship in our home daily! Let our homes be a fragrant offering unto the Lord. Well, I used to just do a session of worship at a stipulated time, slotted right into our schedule before lunch. After seeing how our senior pastor followed the Holy Spirit to totally turn the schedule of our service around, I went ... wow... that is the way! How many times have we said we would let the Holy Spirit take the lead, yet be so dogmatic in our schedule! So convicted in my spirit that I made a radical change to do it HIS way in my home.

We now worship anytime. When I discern the hearts of my boys and especially when there is a need, I like to take my family to battle in dynamic (Dunamis) prayer and praise usually at my keyboard. I was also especially touched by the way the church incorporates Family worship (that's babies and all the kiddos!) into the main congregation every 1st week of the month. It speaks of the importance of Family worship in which we could model at home.

* Look for materials that not only teaches about God, but also about his power. We cover all genres. Hymns, contemporary songs, Jewish songs. We also use ARISE materials from iSOW. I particularly like this song "If I can believe it, I can recieve it". I use this song to prepare my 4 yr-old's heart to hide God's word.

* Get involved! I try to ask about all the songs that my children learns/sings every Sunday, then I look up the score and play it on my keyboard during our worship sessions at home. They are very motivated to sing the songs that they learn in sunday school, specially when we, parents take an interest in them! That's something we could have fun doing besides sitting besides them coaching their homework every night, which is, sometimes not that much fun for bigger kids. Worship can be a family activity!

*Proclamation of faith!
I learnt that praise should be dynamic. It should be victorious. We love shouting battle claims, such as "I love Jesus!" I have both my tots (aged two and four) do that with me. We could proclaim scriptures, proclaim healing and proclaim restoration. If we do our worship at night, Daddy is able to join in.

May your family be victorious worshippers!

Play! We have a winner !

2011-05-01T21:18:00.012+08:00

A BiG ThAnK yOu to EVERYONE for sending in your pictures!! We really ENJOYED seeing uniqueness your family at PLAY! Whether as simple as being on a swing, stacking up, tongue-in-cheek, playing in the bath-tub, dancing or just being together, I'm sure it holds much more than this contest can ever reward you!!

However, the truth is we still HAD to pick A WINNER and trust us
we (David & I) went back and forth and back and forth and back and forth probably a zillion times... and finally we had to give the prize to the pair whose child's uncontainable joy & laughter seemed to flow out of the tub she was sitting in! *Wink* (Scroll down to find out!)

CONGRATULATIONS ALVIN & Baby Nadia ! You have won for yourselves a book by Gary Chapman, "The Five Love Languages of Children". Trust this book will bless your family!! Enjoy!

Play! Send in your photo/s and win!

2011-03-30T14:19:00.021+08:00

We're starting a new topic, "play!" in this blog. Its something most people would know but probably don't do enough of. Well, perhaps we do alot of it when our kids are younger and gradually diminish the need of it as they grow older and are more apt at playing on their own. The following article shows what children won't forget. And while we are going about parenting, wouldn't it be great if we could not only savour those moments but do more of it? Particularly if we, parents are in the picture! It helps enhance unity within the family and greater parent-child relationship.

We're looking for the Happiest, Most joy-filled parent-child combination at play!

1 Winner will walk away with the book entitled, The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman.

Submit photo/s to popuri@singnet.com.sg with the subject: Play! Look forward to hear from you! Opened to U.S & Singapore citizens. :) Closing date: 30 April.

What Children Never Forget

How your preschooler forms, records, and stores meaningful memories

By Barbara Burrington

My twin daughters, Anna and Emma, are 16 years old, but they still love to relive and retell stories from their early childhood. Emma often asks to hear about how she greeted everyone with her first word, "cookie," rather than with "hello." Anna recounts the time she was struck with a shovel full of ice and had to go to the emergency room. "I remember being there!"; she says. "I remember lying on the bed and hearing you go, 'Ohhh!' The doctor was a woman, and everyone came to visit me." She was only 2 at the time! What will you child remember from her earliest years? And what meaning do these specific memories have for your child?

For one thing, memories connect our pasts, our present, and our futures — and they connect us to one another. Our children's memories can also lend insight into their rich inner lives, and can help them develop what Eric Neisser, founder of the Rutgers Special Education Clinic, calls "the extended knowledge of oneself across time." Knowledge of oneself is power, and you acquire it by looking inside and at your external experiences. It is one of the ways we find meaning in our lives.

What Children Remember
Jerome Bruner, one of the most influential psychologists of the 20th century, suggests that retelling events is a means for children to use narrative to reconstruct their life experiences. Bruner considers storytelling the most powerful way that people organize experience. The youngest "reminiscers" rely on others to help them create a description of the past. The language that accompanies visual imagery and experiences makes them that much stronger in our minds.

Several years ago, I embarked on a study with a colleague at the Early Childhood Education Center at the University of Vermont to capture children's salient memories. We wanted to find out what the 5 year olds remembered at their school. We hoped to gain insight from them in order to make school a better place for our students. We wanted their memories to be part of the history of our school and to convey what had challenged them and what had brought them joy. We hoped the memories would include some of what the children’s parents and teachers held dear. What we discovered about children’s memories was even more profound.

We explained to the children that we wanted to help them make stories (visual memoirs) of their years at school before they left for kindergarten. We asked them how they thought they could tell a story in pictures that related what they remembered about life at school. Initially, the children met outside under a shady tree, and their teacher read stories about adults recalling moments from their own childhoods. Then everyone shared memories from school with one another.

Over the course of the project, the children spent time talking about the past and drawing the things they would "never forget." We went on walks and took cameras with no film in them so children could practice looking at objects, places, and people through a viewfinder. Soon, the children were ready to do some photography. Throughout the process, we were constantly reflecting on the stories they spoke about.

Two hundred and eighty-eight drawings and photographs later, we noticed certain themes running through the memories the children had represented in images. We searched for common threads and patterns, and what we found became the title of the project: Children Remember Important Things.

8 Important Things
In the end we culled eight areas of memories that make an impression on young children. Here's what children will never forget:

Being dropped off at school. The most frequent memory that children reported was the experience of being dropped off at school each morning. Many children had rituals they shared with their mothers and fathers. For example, Collin remembered this: "Mommy and I would say goodbye with a hug and say, 'I love you more than anything.' Then, Mommy would kiss the birds on the door to the center." In many cases the children wanted their portrait taken saying goodbye to Mom or Dad in their particular way.
Their natural environment. Children generated stories, memories, and rich conversations with one another about classroom pets, gardens, the nearby woods, and the fountain on the University green, where they enjoyed playing freely. They also mentioned places where they sought refuge from storms. The children dramatically retold stories about changes in the weather, the excitement of big winds and rainbows, and the nervous, surprised, even frenzied emotions those changes produced.
Jumping, swinging, climbing. Children often focused on the experiences of active play, such as running, jumping, swinging, climbing, and playing hockey (which is a major pastime in Vermont and a source of real-life superheroes). A typical morning greeting among these children was, "Hey! Want to be on my team today?" Some of these memories included working and playing together and the necessity of having order, rules, and leaders.
Being good at something. The children conveyed a desire to capture images of things they had created. These memories highlight a sense of competence with processes and representation. They wanted to be viewed and known by others as being "good at something": sewing, papermaking, block-building, painting, sculpting with clay, writing, or playing favorite games.
People I like, and who like me. Friendships are important developmentally, but it was deeply moving to listen as children described having connected with others who shared their interests, who they looked forward to spending time with, who they trusted, and who they imagined would always be part of their lives. They wanted to photograph not only the people they loved, but also the people they knew liked them in return and the people who had been kind to them.
The babies and toddlers. The children wanted to leave a legacy for the younger children they had grown fond of, or, in some cases, for the younger siblings that they would be leaving behind. They remembered eating with them, watching them grow, and understanding what they like to do. Five-year-old Finley put it most eloquently: "I want to take of picture of Rowan so he'll remember me when I'm gone."
Being part of the community. There were a lot of feelings the kids wanted to express about the connections they formed with people in the community. This included teachers, people on the campus who had shared food with them, people who allowed them to visit special places, and the bus drivers they were friendly with.
Places and structures. Places were often unforgettable to the children. They documented buildings and destinations that represented areas of meaning for them: the first potty they used, the cribs they slept in, and the slides in the toddler room they ventured down.

Strengthen Your Child's Memories
Talking with your child — especially thinking out loud about what is happening, what you are doing, and why — goes a long way toward building language skills, which play an important role in remembering. We can also help by narrating as we play with children, thereby offering them a context in which to remember the lessons that play can offer.

It's also beneficial to revisit favorite books repeatedly and to tell stories from your own life. One of the important things we offer children when we talk reflectively with them is the process of making connections between the moment they are in and previous experiences.

Looking at photographs, home movies, and past schoolwork provides opportunities for talking about what these moments represent. You can ask your child, "What feelings did you have then? How do you feel about it now? Why was this moment important?" We save so many things that our children make at school — drawings, writings, collages, photographs, and more. This adds tremendous value to the children's experiences. It's also helpful to write a brief anecdote that your child shares with you on the back of drawings and photographs to aid in keeping the events in our minds and reminding us of the context.

We can learn so much from understanding what moments, events, places, and people are important to young children. We should be mindful of how we say goodbye to our children and give time to creating rituals and traditions. We should find ways to ensure that our children have opportunities to spend time in nature and connect with a variety of important places that they can revisit throughout their lives. Supporting our children's early friendships — and the enjoyment they feel from being social with other people — is an important way we help them to know and remember that they are loved.

Share your feelings and your point of view as well. Telling stories about yourself is more than just interesting to your children — through your stories, they learn that you believe it is important to give voice to memories, impressions, feelings, and events that may otherwise be held inside and eventually forgotten. They learn how to recount their memories and, more importantly, that you care and expect them to talk about their lives and what matters to them the most.

source: Scholastic

Left eye healed by Jehovah Rapha

2011-03-27T22:36:00.003+08:00

Thurs - 24 March 2011
Due to dryness or tiny specs of object that fell into my left eye that irritate it, I rubbed it casually.
Was out from 8.30am - 10am the morning and felt a strange tug in my left eye. I could feel the jelly-like substance inside my eye twitching when I look to the right corner. Went home, and checked my eye at the mirror. Saw a jelly-like ball of yellowish swell beside my pupil. The other corner was red. I prayed for God to touch my left eye and heal it. Afternoon, I was out again and did not feel the swolleness, went home and had it checked. Praise the Lord, left eye totally resumed normal probably within 2 hours. No signs of dryness. Glory to God, nothing is too small for him!

Threat or Bribery?

2011-03-22T21:59:00.006+08:00

Recently we have fallen into the trap of "Threat" parenting.

This method is behaviouristic in nature. It is however contrary to the sowing and reaping principle in the Bible. Ps Tedd Tripp quoted in his book, Instructing a child's heart under the topic 'Rewards/Punishments of Behaviourism' of which goals are often driven by consequences as an external attempt to change behaviour - what will appeal to the child enough to be a motivator or sting enough to be a deterrent. Popular behaviourist tactics such as time out, grounding and loss of stuff do not bear out Biblical truths all by themselves. They simply serve as power play to prove our powers of persuasion through deprivation of their stuff and privileges. This plants seeds of rebellion in a child's already defiant heart.

I'm not talking about the training of a 1or 2-yr old to do something, or effect a behaviour which sets the tone for later training of the heart when they are cognitively ready. This method is important at that stage. We're talking about a 4 yr-old who is capable of negotiating, persuading, delaying, choosing to ignore and really right out not obeying first time.

Parents want to be gracious and are gracious to our children. We sometimes get drawn into a 'discussion' which really is a 'negotiation'. We wanted to kind of keep the peace, and kind of not ruffle any young feathers or we are genuinely too tired to send them out, through a barrage of tears and what-have-yous to get to the heart of the matter. We fall prey to the "carrot and stick" method which basically is threat out right. It goes something like, "If you don't sleep now.. I'm going to send you out." or "If you are not listening to me, I think you can forget about going out with me."

Father, we have been too quick and too furious with our words! We need your cleansing and forgiveness for that!

What we want to do when a child draws us into a negotiation, we would want to continue to expect first time obedience. Scripture tells us that obedience is what our God wants from us. Doing things half-way is not obedience. That is being half-hearted. That means, an instruction not obeyed first time will be given a consequence.

To put it in perspective, here is what Pastor Paul Tripp mentioned in one of his interview. "That a child needs firm, loving, discipline, authority and grace. We live in the world of authority and we need to image that authority and we need to be a person of grace.

Grace is an important word, because there is a tendency in parents in our appropriate concern for our children to ask the law to do all that only grace can accomplish! If a parent by the tone of our voice, by the enforcement of the law could change the heart of our child, Jesus would never need to die on the cross.

My job is to act appropriately towards my child, so that they can transact with God, but we can't do that transaction. We are only a tool for that change. We are not the ones that create the change. God is the one. It is really liberating, because that's not our job! However, we believe in godliness and love and we keep doing that everyday."

Hebrews 12:11,
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

I learnt that there will be wisdom needed where a child taste the consequence of his foolishness and there would be time a child be given mercy where he least expects it. Discipline is designed to restore and not punitive.

So back to giving 'threats', perhaps there would be situations which calls for good clear explanations when asked, and there would times where consequences be met out. But we're going to NOT dish out threats or bribery, for all its worth!

How do we praise you in such storm?

2011-03-16T23:45:00.008+08:00

In the face of disaster, many would flee, but they chose to stay on, so that a major catastrophe might be averted.

Watching the news from this part of the world, we seemed unable to understand the magnitude of a disaster many cannot help but call reference to Chernobyl disaster.

The New York Times

March 15, 2011

Last Defense at Troubled Reactors: 50 Japanese Workers

By KEITH BRADSHER and HIROKO TABUCHI

A small crew of technicians, braving radiation and fire, became the only people remaining at the Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Station on Tuesday — and perhaps Japan’s last chance of preventing a broader nuclear catastrophe.

They crawl through labyrinths of equipment in utter darkness pierced only by their flashlights, listening for periodic explosions as hydrogen gas escaping from crippled reactors ignites on contact with air.

They breathe through uncomfortable respirators or carry heavy oxygen tanks on their backs. They wear white, full-body jumpsuits with snug-fitting hoods that provide scant protection from the invisible radiation sleeting through their bodies.

They are the faceless 50, the unnamed operators who stayed behind. They have volunteered, or been assigned, to pump seawater on dangerously exposed nuclear fuel, already thought to be partly melting and spewing radioactive material, to prevent full meltdowns that could throw thousands of tons of radioactive dust high into the air and imperil millions of their compatriots.

The workers — and an increasing proportion of soldiers — struggled on Tuesday and Wednesday to keep hundreds of gallons of seawater a minute flowing through temporary fire pumps into the three stricken reactors, Nos. 1, 2 and 3. Among the many problems that officials acknowledged on Wednesday were what appeared to be yet another fire at the plant and indications that the containment vessel surrounding a reactor may have ruptured. That reactor, No. 3, appeared to be releasing radioactive steam.

The reactor’s operator, Tokyo Electric Power Company, said it had been able to double the number of people at the plant to 100 as a result of falling radiation levels, but that was before the sudden release of radioactive vapor. It was not immediately clear how many of the workers and soldiers at the plant might have evacuated after that.

Those remaining are being asked to make escalating — and perhaps existential — sacrifices that so far are being only implicitly acknowledged: Japan’s Health Ministry said Tuesday it was raising the legal limit on the amount of radiation to which each worker could be exposed, to 250 millisieverts from 100 millisieverts, five times the maximum exposure permitted for American nuclear plant workers.

The change means that workers can now remain on site longer, the ministry said. “It would be unthinkable to raise it further than that, considering the health of the workers,” the health minister, Yoko Komiyama, said at a news conference. There was also a suggestion on Wednesday that more workers may be brought to help save the power station.

Tokyo Electric Power, the plant’s operator, has said almost nothing at all about the workers, including how long a worker is expected to endure exposure.

The few details Tokyo Electric has made available paint a dire picture. Five workers have died since the quake and 22 more have been injured for various reasons, while two are missing. One worker was hospitalized after suddenly grasping his chest and finding himself unable to stand, and another needed treatment after receiving a blast of radiation near a damaged reactor. Eleven workers were injured in a hydrogen explosion at reactor No. 3.

Nuclear reactor operators say that their profession is typified by the same kind of esprit de corps found among firefighters and elite military units. Lunchroom conversations at reactors frequently turn to what operators would do in a severe emergency.

The consensus is always that they would warn their families to flee before staying at their posts to the end, said Michael Friedlander, a former senior operator at three American power plants for a total of 13 years.

“You’re certainly worried about the health and safety of your family, but you have an obligation to stay at the facility,” he said. “There is a sense of loyalty and camaraderie when you’ve trained with guys, you’ve done shifts with them for years.”

Adding to this natural bonding, jobs in Japan confer identity, command loyalty and inspire a particularly fervent kind of dedication. Economic straits have chipped away at the hallowed idea of lifetime employment for many Japanese, but the workplace remains a potent source of community. Mr. Friedlander said that he had no doubt that in an identical accident in the United States, 50 volunteers could be found to stay behind after everyone else evacuated from an extremely hazardous environment. But Japanese are raised to believe that individuals sacrifice for the good of the group.

The reactor operators face extraordinary risks. Tokyo Electric evacuated 750 emergency staff members from the stricken plant on Tuesday, leaving only about 50, when radiation levels soared. By comparison, standard staffing levels at the three active General Electric reactors on the site would be 10 to 12 people apiece including supervisors — an indication that the small crew left behind is barely larger than the contingent on duty on a quiet day.

Daiichi is not synonymous with Chernobyl in terms of the severity of contamination. The Ukrainian reactor blew up and spewed huge amounts of radiation for 10 days in 1986. But workers at the plants have a bond.

Among plant employees and firefighters at Chernobyl, many volunteered to try to tame, and then entomb, the burning reactor — although it is not clear that all were told the truth about the risks. Within three months, 28 of them died from radiation exposure. At least 19 of them were killed by infections that resulted from having large areas of their skin burned off by radiation, according to a recent report by a United Nations scientific committee. And 106 others developed radiation sickness, with nausea, vomiting, diarrhea and dropping blood counts that left them highly vulnerable to infections.

The people who had suffered radiation sickness developed other problems later, according to the report: cataracts, severe scarring from the radiation burns to their skin and an increased number of deaths from leukemia and other blood cancers.

Some of those Chernobyl workers were exposed to levels of radiation far beyond what has been measured to date at Daiichi — especially helicopter pilots who flew through radiation-laden smoke spewing from the reactor to drop fire-extinguishing chemicals on it.

Radiation close to the reactors was reported to reach 400 millisieverts per hour on Tuesday after a blast inside reactor No. 2 and fire at reactor No. 4, but has since dropped back to as low as 0.6 millisieverts at the plant gate. Tokyo Electric and Japanese regulators have not released any statistics on radiation levels inside the containment buildings where engineers are desperately trying to fix electrical systems, pumps and other gear wrecked by Friday’s earthquake and tsunami.

But nuclear experts said that indoor radiation levels were likely to be higher because the containment buildings were probably still preventing most radiation from leaving the plant.

The site is now so contaminated with radiation, experts say, that it has become difficult for employees to work near the reactors for extended periods of time. According to one expert’s account of nuclear emergency procedures, workers would be cycled in and out of the worst-hit parts of the plant.

In some cases, when dealing with a task in a highly radioactive area of the plant, workers might line up and handle the task only for minutes at a time before passing off to the next worker, said Katsuhiko Ishibashi, a former professor in the Research Center for Urban Safety and Security at Kobe University.

Tokyo Electric has refused to release the names or any other information about the 50 workers who stayed behind, nor have utility executives said anything about how they are being relieved as they become tired or ill.

Some of those battling flames and spraying water at reactors at Daiichi are members of Japan’s Self-Defense Force, police officers or firefighters.

Defense Minister Toshimi Kitazawa said Tuesday that Self-Defense Force soldiers might be called on to fly the helicopters Tokyo Electric may use to spray water onto the overheating used fuel storage pool at reactor No. 4. The same day, however, members of Japan’s nuclear watchdog group, who had been stationed about three miles from the plant, were moved to a site 18 miles away. (The authorities later said that using helicopters to put spray water on reactor No. 4 might not be feasible.) If the plant operator is limiting the exposure of each worker at Daiichi — and calling on hundreds of volunteers to make up the 50 on site at any given time — then Chernobyl may offer some consolation.

To clean up the Chernobyl site after the accident, the Soviet Union conscripted workers in proportion to the size of each of its republics, and developed a system to limit their exposure.

“They sent up to 600,000 people in to clean up the radioactive debris around the plant and build a sarcophagus,” said Dr. John Boice, an author of the study, a professor of medicine at Vanderbilt and the scientific director of the International Epidemiology Institute in Rockvillle, Md. The workers were sent into contaminated zones for limited periods.

Keith Bradsher reported from Hong Kong, and Hiroko Tabuchi from Tokyo. Denise Grady contributed reporting from New York, and Matthew L. Wald from Washington.

This article has been revised to reflect the following correction:
Correction: March 16, 2011

A news alert associated with an earlier version of this article, relying on an English translation of remarks by Japan's chief cabinet secretary, incorrectly stated that workers had been evacuated from the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant. A core group of workers remained at the plant.

I read this news with a heavy heart . I ask God, how Lord, how can we praise you in such storm? When the earth shakes, there is a sense of mass disorientation. Tsunami is horrible, it really makes one feel like they are being swallowed alive. How can I understand? I can never understand. Then as if the darkness of destruction is not enough, there is freezing snow and the silent killer. I can never understand Lord! How, tell me how can I praise you in this storm, in this magnitude. If my heart is torn, how much more torn are the people there, right in the middle of the storm? So I pray, Lord that you push back the darkness of destruction, enough is enough! Send your ministering angels, stretch out your loving hands. Comfort, save, restore! Heal, they need miracles. Step in and save the day, merciful & powerful Lord.

Pls join me to interceed unceasingly until a breakthrough comes. Thank you.

Helmet of Salvation

2011-03-11T00:19:00.003+08:00

Eph 6:17 (NASB) "And take THE HELMET OF SALVATION, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God..."

It is common for homeschoolers to 'follow' a certain educator's philosophy. When we adopt a curriculum, we adopt its philosophies, knowingly or unknowingly.

While there are pros and cons regards to the Greek versus Hebrew worldviews, we are in a state where humanism has profoundly influenced the way we think, live and act.

"The lens through which we modern-day people (paraphrase) view the world has been coloured by years of the influence of ancient Greek thought; Homer, Thales, Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle;s thinking and teachings have had a profound impact on how we think today." - The heart of wisdom teaching approach by Robin Sampson

The book further elaborated that "The basis for humanism is found in the Greek philosophical spirit. the common thread for both belief systems requires man-not god-to be the measure of all things. Greek philosophy and humanism place man as the ultimate evaluator of everything. The outgrow of this view is that there are no God-given standards. Everything changes and evolves. Ethics and morality are based on the whims of man, not on the holy will of God." - Mike and Sue Dowgiewicz.

While some approach are pretty clear-cut in the way they align themselves with the Bible, some are not so clear. I was particularly cautious about using a certain educator's methodology as a blanket theory.

Essentially, following Christ requires that we submit our wills, desires and intellects along with those in whom we place our trust in, under the sovereignty of our Almighty. I had to be careful not to utter words like "so-and-so educator says this , therefore it must be so..." especially so if it has anything to do with character building, or issues pertaining to transformation of heart.

We try to let God be God. In a world of plurality, the only way to stand firm is to take the helmet of salvation (protection), the sword of the spirit (weapon), which is the word of God.

we believe that if God says so, it must be so, only because "He is the way, the truth, the life."

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.

Parenting - Is it an extreme sport?

2011-03-07T22:47:00.009+08:00

I did rock-climbing for the first time last Saturday. Rock-climbing was touted as an extreme sport by many, yet so many climbers have enjoyed doing it. I thought it was rather boring because things are so still. I am one who would rather dance or swim, if you know what I mean; I like to have more than one thing on the move. Parenting is like that in many ways isn't it?

Would parenting be an extreme sport to you? Or would it be a tad toooo boring?

It is easy to lose our focus when we have 101 things on our plate. Or too much 'time' on hands.

Most of our 24-hours feels like 12-hours. We constantly live on the edge of time poverty. Truth is, we are either preoccupied with something that does not keep step with the holy spirit or fall to the other extreme; having too much 'time' on hands. Having "idle" time on hand means we are not able to prioritize what is urgent.

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.

I cannot give a fuller explanation of the above scripture then what John Piper writes here at Desiring God Ministries

"Remember, "flesh" is the old, ordinary human nature that does not relish the things of God and prefers to get satisfaction from independence, power, prestige and worldly pleasures. When we "walk by the Spirit" we are not controlled by those drives."

Parents, especially are often driven mad by the crazy schedules or tantrums of their little ones, and particularly little ones because they are not able to articulate their frustrations, sadness or fear. I often hear parents say " I think I am even more stressed at home then when I am out without my kids". Hence, it was often taken for granted that because many thinks it is less stressful at home, then that must be the way it should be. Or it was often heard that "since others experienced the same kind of stress, then it must be common". What a lie we have bought ourselves into!

The Bible exhorts parents to be teachers of their children at home. Proverbs 6:20 "My child, keep your father's commandment, and do not forsake your mother's teaching..."

It talks of parents being able to discipline their children. Proverbs 13:24 "Those who spare the rod hate their children, but those who love them are diligent to discipline them."

It exhorts women to be the builder of her house. Proverbs 14:1 "The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands."

This verse talks about freedom in the spirit and release from law. "Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom" (2 Corinthians 3:17). I have found that once I understood my role as given by the scriptures, I am able to focus on being the teacher that I am called, a parent who loved enough to discipline, and a wife who must build my family.

You are able to let the holy spirit work in you so much that you experience freedom in doing what you do.

Because of our God-given role we use our time to honour our calling, not given into flesh by squandering our time to do 'something else". We have every right to tell that "something else" to take a back seat if our primary role is not fulfilled. INVESTING in growing and being equipped in our role will directly impact who we are and who we are serving; namely our children, our family and the larger community God has placed us in (the church, the mission field).

Being able to GIVE UP "something else" is also needful in order that we create time and space for God to speak with us and lead us.

Whatever God has called us to do, Stand firm, know our role. We must be ready to CHOOSE to
1) Tell Off
2) Invest
3) Give Up

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13

note: I have much to learn about rock climbing, but I can tell its gonna be our family's new hobby. In rock-climbing, one is required to focus and strategise where to place our hands and legs and which muscles to use in order that the climb is relatively effortless. We are not allowed to hold on to the ropes, however tempting that is. I did find the climb rather exhilarating once I reach the top.

Anyone interested in parenting greater as well as is interested in this sport as a family, contact me. :)

Winning is not everything

2011-02-24T23:37:00.008+08:00

Conversations with a nearly 4 yr-old are both delightful and challenging. While they are growing up almost too quickly, being acutely aware of the world they are in, they are also as keenly aware of what they want!

Shaping the heart of a child is never as exciting as I enter this stage together with my child.

One day, KB was playing as usual and I hear him say "Yeah , I win!" In all innocence as those words are being uttered, I knew I cannot pass up a teachable moment like this. Especially in this part of the world we live in, the concept of 'winning' seemed to have taken a little too far. The bondage of 'fear of losing out' has literally destroyed sanity and morality in more ways we know.

In one of our family nights, KB lost out in a game of snake and ladder. He decided not to play the game seeing how far he is from 'Home'. He sulked and walked away. To which, we were quite happy to stop the game and speak with him. I had explained to him that God is not concern if we win or lose, he is concern if we had tried our best for him. And when we play, it is important to look out for each other and enjoy each other's company.

I had learnt that teaching a tot by reacting is one of the least effective form of discipline. I had made a mental note to counter this by looking out for resources that puts "winning" into the equation of caring, sharing and giving, so that the spirit of being self-centered would have lesser chance of taking roots in a child's heart. Better yet, use stories that has simple yet direct messages. On a random Saturday, daddy spent a wonderful bonding time with KB, bringing old clothes to salvation army on foot. Daddy piggyback KB halfway and then piggyback him all the way back. I'm sure that was more than a chummy experience KB had.

In the weeks that follow, we tried to hone in this principle. Whenever KB said "Yeah, I win", I would say "God is not concerned about winning, we just need to do our best yes?" It may sound rather mean to stop a child from temporary gloating in his rather harmless pretend play of winning, but I am mindful that words we speak carry power.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. Proverbs 18:21

So instead, of saying "Yeah, I win, change it to Yeah, I finished it well." God is pleased when we do just that.

I am sure I would have to teach about being a good sport and lose graciously one day, but then again, at least I have time to do some preparations. Hopefully, I am one step ahead on this one!

Speak big truth and let our child grow into it. (Rephrase from Ps Tedd Tripp)

Deuteronomy 11:19-21 (New King James Version)¹⁹ You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. ²⁰ And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, ²¹ that your days and the days of your children may be multiplied in the land of which the LORD swore to your fathers to give them, like the days of the heavens above the earth.

A related theme which can be adapted to teach about gratitude of what we have, rather than boasting about our win, is taken from Discipleship Town "How to discover gifts and talents" Download this table talk sample here.

Suitable for use for toddlers aged 3 to 5yrs old.

Let’s Play!
You’ll need lots of something, pennies, jelly beans,
checkers, etc., a bowl for each person, and a few dice. If
you don’t have dice, just make several slips of paper with
numbers 1-6 that can be drawn from a pile. Divide up
the objects equally, then take turns rolling the dice or
drawing slips. When you roll, give away the number you
get to whoever you want, in any distribution you want.
Set a time limit. When time is up, whoever has the most
objects wins!
Let’s Talk!
How did you like the game? What was your strategy?
Let’s Read!
Read 1 Corinthians 4:7
Let’s Think!
In the game, you wanted to get objects in order to win,
but on your turn you had to give away your objects.
The winner really couldn’t boast, because everything
came from the other players. The same is true in life—
everything we have, we have received from others or
God. There really is no room for bragging, only gratitude.
Let’s Do!
Everyone name at least one person, in addition to God,
that you can thank for the gifts that you have.

Praise you in this Storm - Casting Crown

2011-02-15T23:25:00.002+08:00

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

lyrics from sing365.com

Homeschooling two tots

2011-02-14T22:21:00.004+08:00

We entered this year still pushed into something I was not quite prepared for. My older tot entered preschool. The story is that we registered him BEFORE we made the decision to homeschool him. We were not against school, but we did prefer homeschool. ;) For the most part, we believed that the closer a child is to the people he spent time with, a.k.a parents, the more keen he is to listen to them, especially so during his formative years.

KB would be four this year. We evaluated him and thought he was ready to enter school. We made the decision to let him try it out. He surprised us by being so keen. I thought he was just being excited during the preparation stage. But he surprised us all by NOT CRYING in school and telling us that he likes his school, his teachers and look forward going. It had been almost 2 months now.

The only thing I still did not take a liking to, is the time needed to be up. He would be up at 7am, contrasted with the usual 7.30am or so, and would usually look tired by the time school finishes at 11.45am. I decided that He didn't need to go to school everyday. Being in a classroom with mostly teacher-directed activities and similiar outdoor play was a tad too confined and non stimulating for a curious preschooler. So, KB goes to school 3X a week at most. :) Perfect for us.

While KB is in school, I potty train my younger tot. My younger tot has gotten so used to following Kor Kor wherever he went and does that I am beginning to suspect if he even obeys me. I guess he does a little, 60% perhaps but I like it 80%. :) And the bonding was just great for starters. The house gets a little quiet with only 1 boy, and I truly miss it at times, but I had learnt to appreciate it gradually. I also get to swim at least once a week in the morning without having to leave two tots to my helper who may find handling two tots difficult.

So while two boys are home, this is what I do. I keep a routine so I don't lose everything we had established. Of course, I don't do as much as I used to with my older tot (even as I wish to).

The days I take him out, we like to go outdoors and let the sunshine bathe them and spend time bonding and pruning his character. With kids, we are learning to take things one step at a time, if the Lord would like for him to stay in school, we would follow and if he were to be taken out, we want to be ready as well.

Homeschool scheduling with 2 tots (aged 2, aged nearly 4)

MORNING (7.30am - 11.30am)

Prayer – Bible reading for both kids. Dad reads to a tot, mum reads to another.

Breakfast (30mins) – Dad eats with kids, while mum does devotion in room.

Reading

Worship & Music (5-10mins)

Outdoors large motor (30mins-2hr) – playground, parks, zoo, sand play, gardens, void deck, nearby bicycle trails, ball games, running, swimming, cycling, play bubbles etc.

Independent play (15-30mins) – older tot chooses any toy he wants and goes into a room to play. I use a gate so I can still see him from time to time. while I work 1-to-1 with younger tot on puzzle, pretend play, puppet, games, BFIAR etc.

Reading – Both are read together, starting with baby board books and young tot is free to pick his own activity , while I continue reading for tot 2

NOON

Reading

Younger tot naps. So 1-to-1 with older tot. (1.30pm - 2.30pm)

1 hour – (either one per day: math, science, phonics, Language arts, crafts)

Monday: Language arts – Charlotte Mason, bits of BFAIR, FIAR, Phonics - Ruth Beechick 3 R’s

Tuesday: Art & craft – The way they see it , Artistic Pursuits curriculum & bits of Reggio Emilio approach

Wednesday: Chinese –we converse in mandarin from time to time, with WED being the speak mandarin day.

Thursday: Science – we use the hands-on approach & read science-related books

Friday: Math, Family Math for young children -Grace Davila Coastes, Jean Kerr Stenmark + some ideas from living Math forum, Montessori

*Parenting – we use Growing Families International curriculum & shepherding a child’s heart by Ps Tedd Tripp – focusing on the heart of a child, character and values.

*worship – weekends, resources from top 100 Sunday school sites + play-n-worship + focus on family resources

NAP

Play together & Free Play/ Creative play (any kind of play that is suitable for two tots; chalk drawing, craft etc) – learning to share, conflict management (under parent supervision)

EVENING

Daddy reads to boys Family play

Review of Tots/Pre-schoolers Bible

2011-02-13T15:55:00.008+08:00

I wanted to do a review on the Bibles I own, some great, some not so great. Bibles are like clothes we wear, they grow with us and I find myself having to acquire new Bibles simply because of relevance.

When I first had KB, my goal was to read the great word of God, so he can be familiar with us reading the Bible. I also wanted him to love the word, so I got a Bible that rhymes.

This is a small Bible with OT and NT . A sample text reads, Moses said, "Let's start, now go with all your heart!" And the people walked in wonder as God made the waters part."

Suitable for aged 0-2yrs old

(click image to go to Amazon link)

The second Bible we got was a present from our small group.

It was a simple, straight forward Bible that kept close to the original text, with big illustration. I use this for telling Bible stories together with other resources because this Bible does not provide questions or devotional material.

The main draw of this Bible is its big pictures.

Suitable for aged 2-3yrs old.

(click image to go to Amazon link)

Blessings Every Day is a devotional Bible. It is used best to illicit conversation and discussion with children who is able to understand simple Biblical concepts. Yet, if there was a particular habit, character, or concept that I wish to bring across. I would usually use this together with other activities to teach.

The thing with this devotional is that it is meant as a springboard for conversation, I don't always cover every word on one devotion because it turns the child away as it can be too wordy to understand.

(click image to go to Amazon link)

The other thing about this devotional Bible is that it does not come with a content page. It is organised by months and days. So unless you have no specific requirement on going about the topics you want to cover, this would be ideal. I tend to like to cover immediate topics that is developmentally appropriate or needs-based before going onto general topics. So I do find it a little difficult to prepare my teachings ahead.

Suitable for aged 3-5yrs old

The Big Picture Bible is a Bible that is somewhat made simple with big illustration for the very young. It rephrases some words and makes it read like a storybook. Phrases are also short, and simple questions are included for simple conversations.

We use this for Bible stories alone. I did not think this is a Bible that could grow up with the children because I prefer original text.

Their beautifully illustrated picture is certainly a big draw for children as young as 2yrs old.

(click on image to go Amazon link) Suitable for aged 2-4yr old

Toddler Bible comes with a DVD cartoon, so in a way, it is self-explanatory and the story sticks better.

We're no T.V buffs, so when it comes to watching DVD to learn something, we are selective. My tot is only allowed 15mins each viewing, and that is about 2 stories.

(Caution: as a word of caution, parents need to be aware of how addictive TV, or other electronic media. Unsupervised viewing or having TV as a babysitting is a sure way of cultivating addiction)

The good thing about this Bible is that it includes very simple activity to reinforce learning as well as prompters for
parent-tot conversation as each stories brings out relevant
life topics to learn. I like it that I can use this Bible alone or
together with other resources.

Suitable for aged 3-5yrs old.

If anyone has experiences of good Bible and would like to share, pls feel free to comment! Thanks!

Shift Happens

2011-02-01T21:59:00.002+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emx92kBKads

How are we preparing our children's future ?

Not so fun place afterall - enrichment centre review

2011-01-25T15:35:00.005+08:00

I was trying to check out a programme for my 10-yr old niece and called up Our fun place.

Me: Hello, is this Our Fun Place

OFP: Yes.

ME: May I make an enquiry?

OFP: Sure.

ME: I’m looking for speech and drama course for 10-yr-old

OFP: yes, we have it on the website you can take a look under speech and drama, the photos, and videos

Me: (clicked speech and drama): Oh but it says from 5-12yrs old, do you group all the children together?

OFP: no, we put same age group together.

Me: So what’s that like? 5s, 6s, 7s, 8s,?

OFP: No, we group them, you can look at the photos on the website, we’re on you tube too.

Me: How do you group them, 5-6, 7-8 ...?

OFP: hm, like 5-7, 10-12.

Me: So what happens with the 7,8,9 yr olds? I am trying to find out the age range here. You know there is a lot of difference in each age group …

OFP: of course …

Me: and are you able to tell me because I am not getting that from you

OFP: (sigh , slightly frustrated), its 5-7, 8-9, 10-12.

Me: I see. So your speech and drama is for 5-days only?

OFP: There’s art, public speaking, singing …

Me: no, no, I’m asking about speech and drama. You mean you have speech and drama for a month-long?

OFP: Er, we can stretch up to 2 wks for you

Me: Oh, you mean you can customise for us, is this a 1-to-1 class or a group?

OFP: It’s a group of course, you can look at our photos on the website, but depends on the demand.

Me: So who is teaching speech and drama

OFP: Professionals.

Me: (????) Of course, professionals are everywhere. I mean who, do you have the name?

OFP: Its on the website, you can refer to it.

Me: (at this point), excuse me, can I maybe speak with the person-in-charge?

OFP(slightly annoyed) I, am the founder.

Me: I see, are you teaching speech and drama?

OFP: No, we get speech and drama experts to teach. The teacher’s profile is all on the website.

Me: I see, so what makes your program so special compared to the other speech and drama programme?

OFP: (pause), we are all-rounded and our class size is small.

Me: how small?

OFP: 10. Oh, that’s it? Ok, thank you.

This is why I think some centres are so profit-centric that they can't be bothered to invest a few minutes to talk to their customers. They seemed to think their customers have all the time to study their website and take in every detail and just walk in and magically register. Parents, don't gloss over great websites with virtually all the information and wonderful photos. If they can't tell you in detail, how great they are, how they think it would benefit your child, I think we can forget about them training our children. The entire time, this lady was trying to sell me her programme without trying to understand my needs. Sorry, this really is a not so fun place afterall.

Environment ( a holiday reflection)

2011-01-22T16:25:00.010+08:00

This is really my idea of a holiday. Yep, just a nice drink and a good book. Because this is what I love. I guess that means I can have a holiday anywhere anytime isn't it? ;)

This is my probably 5th or 6th visit to Indonesia, my husband's hometown, Jakarta. Among the many things that I have seen one thing was plain. The wealth divide is enormous. That Chinese people are mostly bosses and the locals are mostly workers.

I have experienced the best service in Indonesia, from hotels, to villas to restaurants and small eateries. The locals are generally warm and very obliging. No where in China or U.S have I encountered such level of service.

My husband's family's driver is a blessing to us in many
ways. This time, while out in the countryside, my younger boy was in need of urgent medical attention. The medication which he needed was not available and the only 'solution' from the local public hospital A&E was circumcision! In the end, we used some table salt in warm basin and heaps of prayer. The next day, Elias was healed. God is good! However, to prevent the infection from reoccurring, the driver rode on his motorbike for about 3hours all the way up to deliver the medication. I also got to know that the travelling time between his home and ours is about an hour. With the infamous traffic jam in Jakarta, it is not unusual for him to travel 2 hours, just one-way to work.

I caught up with a long time friend of mine who is a lawyer in Jakarta. In addition to her existing law firm, she had started 2 other boutiques. With so much wealth, she told me, she literally don't have to work. To pass time, she travels around the world!

In my short stay of 2 weeks there, I am constantly caught breathless between the irreconcilable difference of outrageous extravagance versus simple humility and servitude. I'll be seeing a kid with no slippers on the road stealing fuel from trucks (so they could resell it for money) who stop at the red light and then at a huge malls (much like that of United States), shoppers buying big ticket items without battling an eyelid.

People in Indonesia are closely-knit people who like the Thais and Filipinos value families and friendships and loves living in communities. It is common for Chinese wives to stay home and husbands out at work. It is also common to see women chatting endlessly via their blackberry.
Every family has a chauffeur (they call them drivers) and a maid. There was no labor shortage among their own people. The locals, almost always the servants and the local Chinese almost always the bosses.

This was pretty much the life there.

I concluded that people everywhere are shaped by the very culture and environment in which they are placed in. Ideology permeates their lives and we began to "follow suit". It reminded me of the story of Pied Piper of Hamelin. We could be following a beautiful tune and march to its beat without a single consciousness if this was the way of God.

How foolhardy and dangerous life is to let the culture shape us! The single most powerful environment we live in is community. Most people have herds mentality. We follow the majority. That means idealogies spread quickest in places like families, organizations, churches, nations ( in order of size).

In this time and age of lifestyle choices and information overload, it is difficult even to focus on one thing once a person is at his laptop. There are emails, news feed, social network and stock market windows all opened at once. Sometimes, I find myself having to look away from my laptop and focus on what needs to be down. Or shut every window except one which I am working on. Or make a list and keep to it. Or turn off my phone so I will not get interrupted. So much effort is spent just to focus on one thing. No wonder people follow the majority. We did not realise that we had probably lost our stamina and had naturally chose the easy way out.

But there is a choice. We could start at the lowest level; families. As a parent, I find myself having to ensure environmental influence are positive during a child's formative years (below 6 years old). This window is a moulding, nurturing time where we could input nuggets of wisdom into their hearts.

Proverbs 13:20 says "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companions of fools suffers harm".

Make a decision today. Don't let what everybody else is doing distract you from God's highest calling for you. Walk with God, not with the world.

A day in a purpose-driven housewife's life

2011-01-11T14:31:00.005+08:00

I wanted to give a quickie update on things recently. Our family's been on a holiday for 15 days and things are great with the kids, none of them had any major illness - God's mercy most certainly especially for my eldest son. I had encountered so many events though that left me ponderous and in my busy sorting and reflection of thoughts had taken too many days to pen them down. There were more urgent things.

One immediate thing which I thought was important to share, at the beginning of the year, traditionally. Visions, dreams, goal-setting etc.

I received my new desk planner (an old fashion pen and paper calendar-cum-planner). I rely on this to plan and set regular goals.

A friend I met during my holiday asked me if I feel frustrated, or stressed out being a mum who quit my corporate work. An aged-old question , I thought. It is however, still very relevant to many young women today, especially in our society where young men and women are coaxed to study hard to get good jobs, get married and continue to get better jobs.

My friend asked me if my sudden lost of income and status left me feeling high and dry. I had to laugh because almost immediately, I felt financial freedom. I really don't have to check my account when I spend. My husband lets me spend on whatever I want. Does that make me sound like a mercenary and irresponsible? :) Well, my husband understands that while I am not a chronic splurger (I'm reformed), I do like things that look good, I also like good books, and good friends. Things that are not necessarily cheap, but priceless.

And while things that look good catches my eye, say above $50, they would usually come in a form of gift from hubby of course. Kudos to my husband who is learning to speak my language of love. :) Both of us take a consultative approach how money is spent regardless of who brings home the bacon.

I've answered my friend simply, that when people feel a loss of status when they were not earning, it is only that they had became too attached to the things of the world.

To be honest, when I first become a housewife. Yep, "Housewife", I did not really liked that word. It does have a negative connotation of a women who does nothing but sweep the floor and cook. I have come to realise that it is only in the mind of contrived that we attached such derogatory impression to a role. And by being a "housewife" for few years, I have finally found a significance that were beyond money and status.

My plans for this week were a plenty. I put in my journal.
1) Less time on FB - will only FB if it encourages someone.
2) Start a mom's prayer group with whoever wants to pray together.

Other immediate goals for the week reads
1) Organise getaway for family
2) Plan for biz
3) Revamp roaster for both boys
4) Finish 2 books & review them online
5) Dec holiday post
6) Dec holiday family photos
7) KB's birthday venue
8) Preparation for KB's delight-learning
9) potty training Elias & re-train obedience
10) need to get an oven (to learn to bake), rice cooker (spoilt) and CD-player (spoilt)
11) visit some friends
12) Call up a mom who wants to discuss homeschool
Yesterday night around 11pm, I was nursing KB's fever in the night. In between rushing out an article for Straits Times Forum, I was sponging KB. Hubby helped to look through my article and made suggestions. Then I realised I overshot by 200 words, and spent another half hour trying to cut away the precious words. ;(

Then I went to the kitchen to check the kid's soiled laundry and found that my helper dumped everything in the washer without setting aside stained clothes. I went through them one by one and stuck a written note for her to take note in future.

I do spot-checks from time to time, the sinks, the clothes, the drawers, the refrigerator, the food etc.

Why do people get bored over "mundane" activities like these? Am I doing chores that are mindless and perhaps do not utilise the qualifications I so earned in my university days? I beg to differ, God has given my more gifts and talents then any renowned university or corporation could attest. And that is why perhaps, when I check my kid's laundry, I know I am serving them as a mother. I know that when I check the sinks and drawers and refrigerator and food stock, I know I am serving my family. I am making this household a more comfortable place for all. I am making sure that food does not run dry. I am serving my family in the way my Lord and God has called me.

Today, Elias started to have runny nose. I was up and about searching for the better medication, checking the dosage, reading its ingredients. I was learning. I do admit sometimes, I felt I could have studied medicine if I knew I was going to be SO hands-on in caring for sick kids! I spoke with the pharmacist, my PD and learned more about the drug. "Hello, housewives... is there any dull moment?"

Then I read to the boys, played with them, cleaned them up and fried veges for lunch. Yep, I do cook!! hahah... I fry veges twice a day, lunch and dinner. My boys and husband love my crisp, crunchy leafys. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Let me divulge a secret "All husbands enjoy meals prepared by their wives." hahah...mindless chores? Do you know that various veges take various degree of heat, method and speed to fry? Anyone can can learn how to cook, but it is the heart of knowing what it takes to serve that I didn't learn in schools or at work.

While watching over my feverish KB finish up his lunch, I hung the clothes. I don't usually do this, but I wanted to 'upgrade' my helper's standard, so I showed her how. Every piece of clothing has to be neatly spaced, so that it can be dry properly. Same item to be hung on each bamboo for tidiness. Gauging how much clothes to wash and looking out for stains are important aspects. I mentor my helper so she can do excellently in her serve in my family.

I got an email that our holiday is being put on request.
One last look at KB's skin, he is doing much better already. Today , no need for steroid cream. I rubbed some oil on both my boys' back and sent them to nap. Not much discipline issue today, just a recurrent one that I took a mental note on for further proactive teaching. It would come in form of our devotion time and reading time.

I picked up my book and scanned through it quickly before heading off to a time of conversation with God.

And a quickie update on this blog .... in my day as a purpose-driven housewife! You could beautify the kitchen, sort the your children's clothes, wash their buttocks, cleaning up vomit, polishing your husband's shoes, shopping for the household, cooking, reading/playing with your children ... the list goes on... Think about it. If we don't do all these, who will?

Purpose-driven women are never attached to the value the world gives, because the one we are ultimately serving gave us much more.

When we have a purpose, there is the place of honour. One day in the house of God is better than a thousand days elsewhere.

Managing the emotions

2010-12-16T23:15:00.003+08:00

About two weeks ago, my elder son, KB had the opportunity to learn to manage his sadness. He felt really sad that he was ill and was unable to drink milk. He had his bout of stomach flu and was recovering slowly.

In a fit of frustration and being (extremely) upset, he pulled off the entire blanket cover on our sofa and sent the whole pile of laundry, tumbling.

Here is the classic case of choosing between looking at the external (the mess) or the heart of a child (what motivates him to act the way he did). Although, at that point, I could see so crystal clearly why he reacted that way, I gave way to my feelings rather than my insight (Argh! folly of human weakness).

I chided him for the mess he created and how he should not take it out on the things, and how he should not throw things when he is upset like he did to his watch once.

And as soon as he burst into tears, I began to have compassion on him. I regained my composure, ready to set things right between us.

Nevertheless, he was expected to set the sofa cover straight back up, in between sobs. (Natural consequence) Over the head rest and straighten it down to the seats. Its a 3-seater sofa, so it is a feat itself to put it straight. I watched him put it up and the cover slid down many times, but he kept doing it. Up, and then down it came.

Then he would put the clothes back up, one by one. And without me saying a word, he would attempt to fold it and put it back. And each time the clothes would crumble in a lump.

Then I saw him take all the clothes back down again and this time, he folded one piece of clothes at a time and stack piece by piece. I was curious as I looked on and asked him why he did that. He told me "Because otherwise it would not be straight". I was , well... quite impress with this attitude. Him taking initiative at doing his best, and coming up with various ways to make sure it was excellently done.

Later on, I would noticed that the side of the cover was not covered properly and asked him if he was going to do anything about it. And he said, "Ok, later, I will finish this job first and then do another one. I must do one job at a time". I could hardly believe this was coming from a three-yr-old. Remembering that all these was being spoken in between sobs. What responsibility.

He was putting it right what he did wrong before (whether it was intentional or out of childishness). His excellent spirit in the midst of extreme negative emotions came through as something worth commenting. I mean, I felt ashamed that I was unable to control my emotions in the midst of a 'negative" situation and it wasn't in anyway extreme compared to a three-yr-old.

After he had fininshed all that he set out to do, he turned around and asked me for a hug, in which I gave, and the poor boy let out such a big cry.

What this boy had within him, was the capacity to with-hold emotions he is so incapable of understanding at that moment and do what is required of him. I was so proud of him that day. And what a day because it was at bedtime where mum's defenses are the lowest.

That night, I apologised to him for losing my temper, as he showed me a more excellent way how it is possible to manage one's emotions, before the emotions manged us.

A more creative approach, perhaps?

2010-12-12T14:58:00.016+08:00

The first time I did art & craft work with my son, we made a wind-chime. Or should I say, I made the wind-chime.
Well, an ordinary piece of craft you would say, and I would most certainly agree. But what made me ashamed was not how ordinary this piece of work was. It was that this craft was well ... 90% my work and only 10% my son's. *blush*

In short, this was the work of an adult made to look like a child's.

And you could probably tell, the only part he helped to do was to punch holes, under my guidance.

Try to take a look at kids' crafts everywhere; in preschool, sunday school classes, you will probably see the same thing. Beautiful pieces of craft, wonderful laces of fish, or ingenious piglets made out of cupcakes wrappers. Do we wonder how much of it is really a child's work?

Ok, I'm not saying a child is incapable of such wonderful work. There are instances where childrens' work blow our mind away, a thousand times. One way is to look at their developmental stage and how much of the craft originates from the child.

I remembered once when my son came back from a particular class and showed me some colourings. I asked him, "oh that was so beautiful, you coloured it?" "No, my teacher coloured it." came the reply. There was no pride in his voice, he just said it matter-of-fact, flatly.

To be fair , I suppose the teachers everywhere were probably under pressure to show parents what 'real work' took place in class. It would also be almost impossible to have 20 kids pick up their favourite materials and do what they like with only 2 teachers ratio.

So, the question to ask is, would such approach to art have a place in class?

A craft that has been conceptualized and steps that are thought out by a teacher leaves little room for a child's imagination. That is why you would see 20 crafts done by 20 kids looking exactly the same. The same ingenious piglet made out of cupcakes wrapper is the same 'ingenious piglet" by 20 kids.

Thankfully, all is not lost. :) There is a place for such craft. It is when we decide to hone in a specific skills, for instance, cutting, pasting, hole-punching, pasting... that is where such craft requires the attention of doing a skill repetitively so that the child can perfect it, through practise. Or where a craft is called upon as a reinforcement to a subject, concept, or a lesson.

This is a craft of an owl. I followed the instruction of a craft book, merely because this particular craft trains the art of cutting straight lines and using scotch tapes to paste. You can see that these skills forms the intent of this project.

There are at least 12 straits lines to cut and probably about 15 tapes to stick. Talk about repetition. As a parent-teacher, I praise how well the child could hold s scissors or tape papers and not how beautiful he created the owl.

There is difference between his work versus mine. Someone else came up with the owl concept, not him. So give credit where credit is due. Of course, I could say, "look how we created the owl", or "look how your cut papers can create an owl".

Technical dexterity is an important consideration of art. It is however, not the only thing that counts. For that matter, creativity is not really an art subject as much as it is a lifeskill. We need creativity to solve problems, or to get along with others, for instance.

Young children are the world's most imaginative people, yet it is most contradictory that their natural imagination and creativity not given an outlet to flourish.

This year, during lantern festival. I told my son, aged 3, that we are going to make a lantern. I was doing a lesson on mid-autumn festival and wanted to emphasize the significance of a lantern. So I initiated the idea of making lantern. However, he is free to choose the materials and conceptualize his craft. Ask 20 kids how they would like their lanterns made, and you most definitely would have 20 different designs. Now that is creativity!

Creativity lets a child take it from ground zero. He conceptualizes, designs, and makes various decisions on how it would function.

He owns the process of making his craft, he imagines how the craft would look at the end.

Ask a child "who made the lantern?"and you will most certainly see that unmistakable beam right across the child's face, "I did it!" He knows and you know that it is 100% his work. What confidence and pure fun that brings!

But beyond that, we would have built in a child, lifeskills that extends further than just preschool years. Lifeskills are survival skills. Problem-solving, decision-making, creativity, having ownership, independent thinking/ group discussion (if you have more than one child together), are just a few skills-set that can be achieved with this approach to art.

Adults often look only at the results and ignore the process. We missed much of the effort that a child has put in. The process is bigger than the performance itself!

We need both technical excellence and innovation. The key is to strike a balance. It is not hard, with a little imagination. Anyone can help a child's creativity take flight!

Next time we look at a child's art, try not to t be too quick to dismiss the results. There are alot more going on then we ever know.

We could also be less impulsive with our praise for art work which we know is not 100% a child's. He knows that we are either being phony or just too lazy to recognise where his true potential lies.

my music journey & a new hobby

2010-12-09T22:51:00.004+08:00

I love music , how much? like air (second to water), like hues (second to rainbow), like hymns (second to God) ... I grew up in the environment of music ... my father works for the greatest music company (then), and my mums hums the best childrens' songs (she's a kindergarten teacher). My encounter with music started when I was just 4 yr-old. I got a nice piano. Unfortunately, I could not recall feeling magical when I touch the keyboards, there was always one more grade to go and one more exam to take. Finally at grade 6, I called it quits and moved on to competitive singing. I was so in love with singing.

I started competing as young as 8-yr-old actually (thanks to my mother who spotted my love for singing), I think its got to do with having her radio blaring all day... mandarin songs! Unfortunately, I never bagged a first. I vaguely remembered being overwhelmed by the Big colourful lights on stage (at semi-finals) and forgot my lyrics. That day I cried my heart out. I could not take my dinner and I was only 8.

Then I was involved in a local radio company that produces drama (the then Singapore Broadcasting Corporation). I did singing and voice acting for 5 years. I was picked out of a company of 20, after endless rounds of audition to sing at a radio program. I was about 10 yr-old. Then at about 12 yr-old, I developed chicken pox and after a long medical leave, never really made it back to the group, much to the regrets of many of my mentors who begged my mum to persuade me to go back. It was a time of chaos for me. I was young, impulsive and very confused.

At about 19 yr-old, I was accepted into one of the most prestigious choir. After several rounds of audition, I was finally accepted into The Singapore Youth Choir. I love the beautiful blending of voices, the male tenors, the female sop (Then, I'm a higher sop :) ), the amazing repertoire of songs makes my hair stand up on ends. I love the choir, particularly of beautiful voices, even without music accompaniement. I dream of travelling with the choir to perform. Like usual music groups, frequent auditions are common, only to maintain a stellar standard. SYC is a performing choir
with strict standards. I often feel like I have to be perfect to be in. So in one of the auditions, I crumbled singing an Italian song, only to repeat the 1st stanza the second time round. I knew I was voted out.

I left the music scene to pursue other interests, only to be attracted by night scene. Ambient music, techno music, canto pop, bright lights, fancy clothes, platform dancing etc. etc. At one point, I picked up smoking and my voice was like never before. I could never hit high notes.

Then at 21, God came. In his presence, I felt so ashamed with scanty clothes, I dropped on the ground crying and shaking. After that I could only dance in his presence and to please God.

When I finally belonged to a local church, I served in worship ministry as a vocal back-up. Frankly, the blend of voices was not great, it was a far cry from what I experienced in all my years of music background. I struggled with pride. And then I realised I had to start from ground zero. It was my faith experience, and not how badly others sing. Then I fell in love, hook line and sinker. It was the worst experience to love a musician and not have him love you back. I thought I was going to marry him, then I thought I was going to die. I left the front line ministry, but survived. ;p

In my late twenties, God did something in my heart. He dugged out the pride of years and years of musical experiences that made me think I was better than good. He flung out feelings of failures. He set me free from the lies I was shackled too. I began to cry and cry non-stop at a keyboard class. But after that, I played like never before. For the first time, I finally felt that magical touch. I felt I was not good yet, but not a failure. Something miraculous took place. He parted the red sea literally inside me. My brother (a talented musician, he performs smooth jazz in cafes, pubs, weddings and is proficient on guitars and drums) commented my music is finally flowing like water and not raining rocks! (See the spiritual connotation?)

Today, I am a mother of two toddlers. I play the keyboard now and then, and they worship with me. We worship as a family every Monday evening over my keyboard. We battle as a family and make desperate calls to God in hard times over my keyboard. But most of all , I loved singing in the night. When all my boys go to bed, I put on music, a you-tube trailer, a CD and I sing and sing... on top of my voice. One night, I sang "The greatness of our God" next to my sleeping boys and then the next day, my elder boy started singing the chorus . God truly knows how to surprise me.

I love this new hobby... when I sing, right beside my sleeping boys, none of them wakes, even when I sometimes go crazy and sing real loud. :)

God... he is soooo good. He is not done with me I know. He still continues to make all things new.

Enjoy this very upbeat, summery song by Brooke Fraser. Wonderful melody.

The next song talks about how we can find ourselves in God even when our world falls out, an absolute favorite. Inspirational. Blessings!

BROOKE FRASER - Something In The Water

Send "Something In The Water" Ringtone to your Cell

Do do do do do do do do do do

I wear a demeanor made of bright pretty things
What she wears, what she wears, what she wears
Birds singing on my shoulder in harmony it seems
How they sing, how they sing, how they sing

Give me nights of solitude, red wine just a glass or two, reclined in a hammock on a balmy evening
I'll pretend that it's no thing that's skipping my heart when I think
are you thinking bout' babe? I'm crazy over you

Aaah Aaah Aaah
there's something in the water, something in the water
Aaah Aaah Aaah
There's something in the water, that makes me love you like –

I've got halo's made of summer, rhythms made of spring
What she wears, what she wears, what she wears
I got crowns of words a woven each one a song to sing
Oh I sing, oh I sing, oh I sing

Give me long days in the sun, preludes to the nights to come previews of the mornings laying in all lazy give me something fun to do like a life of loving you
Kiss me quick now baby I'm still crazy over you

Aaah Aaah Aaah
there's something in the water, something in the water
Aaah Aaah Aaah
there's something in the water that makes me love you like I do

Oooh oooh oooh Oooh(x3)

Give me nights of solitude, red wine just a glass or two, give me something fun to dooooo

Aaah Aaah Aaah
there's something in the water, something in the water
Aaah Aaah Aaah
there's something in the water that makes me love you like I do

Aaah Aaah Aaah
there's something in the water, something in the water
Aaah Aaah Aaah
there's something in the water that makes me love you like I do

Aaah Aaah Aaah
there's something in the water, something in the water
Aaah Aaah Aaah
there's something in the water that makes me love you like I –

Do do do do do do do

BROOKE FRASER - Shadow Feet <object width="480" height="385">

Shadowfeet

Walking, stumbling on these shadowfeet
towards home, a land that i've never seen
I am changing; less and less asleep
made of different stuff than when i began
And I've sensed it all along
fast approaching is the day

[CHORUS:]
when the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
When the sky rolls up and the mountains fall on their knees
when time and space are through
I'll be found in you

There's distraction buzzing in my head
saying in the shadows it's easier to stay
but I've heard rumours of true reality
whispers of a well-lit way

[CHORUS]

You make all things new

[CHORUS]

[CHORUS 2:]
When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
Every fear and accusation under my feet
when time and space are through
I'll be found in you

Shirley Temple

2010-12-02T23:33:00.001+08:00

Purrfect for this yuletide season! Pls enjoy this superb talent, most wonderrrrfully Delightful songs. I know my little boy would enjoy the play in words and the cute cute stories-in-song!
now... where on earth do I get a copy of the CDs????

When I grow up

Polly wolly doodle

Animal crackers in my soup

Homeschoolers did it again!

2010-11-30T14:14:00.003+08:00

Score big on PSLE

HOME-SCHOOLING may have got a bad name in recent years, but pupils like
12-year-olds Mark Tay and David Lim are challenging stereotypes.

In the Primary School Leaving Examination (PSLE), the results of which were
released last week, the home-schooled children scored 248 and 254
respectively, scores which would have secured them places in a number of
premier schools.

The nation's top pupil had a score of 282.

Of the 26 home-schoolers who sat the PSLE this year, nine did not meet the
benchmark set for home-schoolers by the Ministry of Education (MOE), which,
this year, is 194. They will have to retake the examination next year.

Home-schoolers are exempted from the 2003 Compulsory Education Act if their
parents seek permission and provide information on their home-schooling
programme. The children also have to meet a benchmark pegged at the bottom
33rd percentile aggregate score in any given year.

While David still wants to be home-schooled, Mark intends to give school a
try, and his score was good enough to get him a place in the School of
Science and Technology.

The parents of both children downplayed the achievements.

'We are happy, of course, but we were not going to lose sleep over the
PSLE,' said David's father, Mr Henson Lim, 46. 'More important than his
results are his character and his attitude.'

David said he had no idea how easy, or hard, the exam was going to be and,
after taking it, he was unsure of how he had actually fared.

He scored A*s in three subjects and an A in one. Said David, who will
continue to be home-schooled: 'I don't know what it'll be like in a public
school, and I'm used to my mum teaching me. And I'll also miss my siblings.'

Mr Lim, a pastor, said home-schooling was a 'very misunderstood concept'.

'A lot of people think we are not educating our child,' he said. 'We do want
to educate our children; it's just that we see education in a different
way.'

He and wife Serene have seven children, all of whom they intend to
home-school. They said their decision stemmed from their Christian faith and
desire to build strong family bonds.

'You get a lot more time with them,' said Mrs Lim, 41, a housewife. 'People
talk about quantity time versus quality time, but you need quantity to get
quality.'

David and his siblings spend about 2 1/2 hours every day on school work, with
more time for one-on-one 'consultations' with their mother after she grades
their work.

The children follow the local curriculum closely for the four examinable
PSLE subjects, said Mrs Lim.

Agreeing with Mr Lim, Mark's mother, Mrs Tay Pui Yee, 46, said she knew a
home-schooled girl who had not met MOE's benchmark, but was one of the
kindest and most helpful girls she knew.

'You can't test skills like that in an exam,' she said. 'My son did well in
terms of results, but he is still growing in other areas.'

Mrs Tay also said she had nothing against public schooling, but chose to
home-school her children to 'give them time to breathe and grow at a pace
they feel comfortable with'.

'Kids come with different natural capabilities,' she said. 'We don't believe
the exam is everything.'

The Tay family followed much the same method as the Lims. Mark, the third of
four children, also focused largely on the local curriculum, with other
resources added on to give him a deeper or broader understanding of certain
concepts.

His two elder siblings had been home-schooled for the first half of primary
school and are now in mainstream schools. Mark is the first in the family to
have not attended primary school at all.

Mrs Tay said she did not prepare Mark by means of exam drills or many test
papers and made sure he had time for other activities, such as cooking,
baking and sports.

'Learning should not stop just because the PSLE is here,' she said.

http://www.straitstimes.com/BreakingNews/Singapore/Story/STIStory_608798.html

A child's "Quiet moment" with God

2010-11-24T16:33:00.003+08:00

We started our kiddos to lie-still-in-the-presence-of-God worship session at home. KB is 3, turning 4, Elias is almost 2-yr-old.

It is a time where the boys lie down quietly and listen to the worship songs being played by mummy on the keyboard. I played and sang "I could sing of your love forever".

After worship, I asked KB "what did God speak to you?". He said ' I love you'. I tried to clarify. "God said, I love you, who?" KB pointed to himself and said "Theo".

Sweet. I learnt about the various posture and expressions of worship at ARISE concert for kids earlier this year.

mums praying

2010-11-22T23:30:00.004+08:00

How does a desperate prayer look like?

I have never felt a burden as much I did as a parent. The very first burden I felt was "how to nurture my child in the ways of the Lord" when my first born was about few months old.

Not long after, I bore the burden needing 'wisdom', followed by the need for directions in teaching, followed by ways to lead a child in worship, followed by seeking the gift in healing. When I look at other children, I realised I saw their potential easily and I was burden to say something to their parents...

I did not think the burdens would ceased. And because of such "labour pains', I often had to retreat to to a time of God's presence. The more we draw near to God, the more he draws near to us.

And I imagined, could other mothers have the same heart-cry? Could that need to draw upon all that the Lord has prepared and have in-store for us, be the same as mine? Could we, even though we may be miles apart, share the same heartbeat, challenges, and deep longing for the Lord to reveal himself in our roles?

Is there any better way than to seek the Lord? Is there a chance for all mummies to come together to pray. And let our prayer rise like incense unto the Lord.

We could impact many generations to come, not only ours but others too.

Join me?